Monday, 1 September 2008

Clinical Justification

Well after clinic today I'm feeling oddly happier and more justified in how poo I've been feeling, I always worry that I'm being a hypochondriac and that I'm not as bad as I think I am, but actually it turns out I'm kinda of worse than I'd suspected.

Lung function was a rather vile 0.95 otherwise known as 23% eek....and my FVC was 1.45 or 30%, last time they were 31% and 48% and I wasn't that great then either. My oxygen levels were 89% - 90% which is bad as they put you on oxygen at about 92% - 90% depending on how understanding the doctor at the time is... this is the main reason for wanting to admit me, coupled with the very poor air entry into my poor little naughty lungs.

My weight is also down which I'm utterly mystified by, and actually quite annoyed about as I've been making an effort to eat more and do my feed, ever since that post I made a while back about being under-weight, it is also a worry as it indicates there could be a problem with my blood sugars (ie. diabetes) and so I may have to start doing insulin again. It's not that bad I had it when pregnant but it smells and I don't overly enjoy stabbing myself, I also worry about giving myself the wrong dose and putting myself in a coma, unlikely I know but it's scary stuff when you aren't used to it.

Iike I said at the start it sounds odd but in a way I am glad that I am actually ill and not just going mad, it's so easy to loose track of how well/unwell you are when you are going over and over the things you can't do, and the trips you didn't make in your head and trying to wiegh up if you were just being lazy and unfit or if you are genuinely too unwell.

I'm not sure what they are going to do this admission, I really hope it goes better than the last few I've had. I really hope they get to the bottom of this asthma business swiftly and do somethng about it and don't just faff which is a real risk when tackling things that are slightly uncertain. I also want to make sure that I'm put on a long term sustainable treatment for it, because whack-loads of steroids is not a good option in my book, and if that means we have to go through every asthma drug on the market then so be it.

So all in all it was a rather dire clinic appointment and not too suprisingly they have decided to admit me, so I've come home to pack, play one last game of reversi with Prince Adme Bogmulia Belkarty Lord Of The Reversi Bog and then I'm off for the forseeable future....let's hope Luke and Edward survive my absence :o(

See you when I'm home piglets xox

Sunday, 31 August 2008

The Great British Duck Race

The plan was to go to the duck race with some mummy chummy's however at about 9am this morning they texted me asking if we should cancel due to the peeing rain. I called back and after a bit of debating and motherly worrying about babies in the rain we decided to call it off.

I then flumped about the flat grumpng and plotting as I've had this pencilled into my diary for months, so in the end I decided that rubbish lungs and the great British summer were no match for me and that Edward and I would go and see how far we got!

As we walked out the flat and I realised just how much it was actually raining, and how out of breath I was already I quailed, however determined I told myself it wasn't far to the bus stop, I had a nice full tank of oxygen and the rain would pass soon. Without too much incident and with lots of help from a variety of kind people Edward and I made it to Hampton Court and down to the river bank.

Edward didn't have a rain cover and stupidly I didn't take a hat either, however I think we coped quite well with a hood fashioned out of a hanky and his changing bag pouch. I used his actual changing mat as a seat, you can tell I'm a real mother now, utterly resourceful :o)

Given all my 'umming and ahhing' I really thought we would have missed the 'grand' launch, however luckly we made it in time and actually had a lovely ten minutes sat in the rain waiting for the ducks to be 'unleashed'.....I say 'unleashed' but I really feel that may be a rather melodramatic way of putting things.




There were some audio-speakers near by and some local radio DJ's were commentating and letting people know what was happening. They were rather rubbish, however did their best to try and gee up the soggy crowd of spectators.

Eventually the finally coutdown began and out came the ducks! For a while they didn't seem to move very fast at all, and then they seemed to pick up speed as they got to the bridge. I suspect it may have just been due to perspective as once they were closer it was easier to see that they were actually moving.




It was quite exciting when they got close enough to see properly. Edward and I had a good peer over the edge to see if we could spot our ducks but funnily enough we didn't. Despite that we cheered ours along anyway aswell as my freind Dan's as he'd asked me to. There were definately ducks out in the lead, then the bulk of them following behind herded along by a team of canoeists.

As the ducks went by the weather picked up a little and there was even a little sunshine which was lovely. I wanted to see the end of the race but it wasn't very easy to follow the riverbank and I wasn't confident about being able to get back given how much it had taken just to get to the waterside. I decided it was better to leave early while I still had energy and was still enjoying myself than to push it and end up exhausted and miserable.



We got back to central London safely, again helped by lots of kind people and now I'm chilled out on the sofa looking forward to cuddles and Trigun later with the gorgeous sexy Luke.



It's good to be me :o)

Saturday, 30 August 2008

Pari-Neb Poster boy!


Not done too much today as we are off to the duck-race tomorrow. I mostly just laid about and slept a lot, I did a bit of knitting and took a lot of Movicol and Gastrograffin as my stomach is blocked, hopefully it will clear before tomorrow though as I doubt there are many loos along the race-course.

In the evening I played a few more games of reversi with Adme, we are both so badly addicted to it at the moment, only sadly he has now cottoned on how to play and so he keeps beating me.

Luke and Edward have both been too gorgeous for words....Edward especially seems to think he is going to be the next Pari-neb poster boy haha!

Friday, 29 August 2008

Yummy Scrummy Dinner Party!

Starter - Chicken stuffed with basil and hazlenuts served with fresh pesto and mixed olives

Main - Treacle duck with date and parsnip purée, lemon curd carrots and the crispiest roast potatoes known to man!

Pudding - Pear and Belgian Chocolate Cake with squirty cream!

Do not fear dear readers you haven't accidentally ended up on Edward's weaning blog, that is just the menu for my fantabulous dinner party :o)

After alot of planning and contemplating a myrid of things many of which involved grapefruit I finally settled on the above. We made a special trip over to Waitrose near the library as I wanted to get decent ingrediants rather than manky Somefield stuff. The store was really nice, so much tidier and better presented that Scummers, but they didn't have any duck breasts which was most annoying.

We came back to Edgware, Luke started to take stuff off the buggy to take home, but I suggested he may aswell just take Edward back to the flat with the shopping, and I'd try popping up to the delicatesen, which was stupid of me I should have taken Edward home and let Luke go duck hunting. He made me promise not to go to the butchers at Marylebone though as it is too far and he was worried about me. I went to the delcatessen who also didn't have any duck breasts, it was a toss up as to whether it was less far to walk to Somefield or to the bus stop to get the bus to Selfridges. In the end I plummed for Selfridges and hopped on the bus. I had a nice mooch round the foodhall and very nearly bought a stupendous cake, but resisted and instead sampled and bought lots of olives and some fresh pesto aswell as the duck.

I came home and cooked it all up, Luke was annoyed with me as he was worried I was overdoing it :o( I was sorry that I'd worried him I hadn't meant to. Edward crawled all the way from the far side of the lounge to the kitchen to see what I was up to, which was very sweet, though he kept trying to fiddle with the bin so he had to go back.

Everything went quite well, though just as Raj arrived I was having a rather self-indulgent panic hehe! We sat about and chatted a bit and Luke showed Raj the clip of Spore while the starter finished cooking, then we all sat down to eat, it was most tasty and I was so pleased because the chicken did the spiral thing it was supposed to!

There was then a bit of a lull as I decided it was better to eat at a sedate pace and eat well, than try and be snazzy and serve stuff up one after the other and end up wrecking it all! Not too long later though we had the main course and it was most tasty. I think the quantities were way out on the parsnip and date puree though as I ended up with a huge bowl of it, when to be honest, you can't really eat more than a generous spoonful, no matter though it all got frozen for Edward.

We then had a longer rest between mains and pudding as we were all feeling a bit stuffed. We chatted and Luke sorted out 'Company of Heros' on Raj's computer, the long term plan is to have lots of people round LAN all the computers and the boys will all play together and I shall make nachos and other tasty foods...the perfect evening!

The pudding, brought by Raj, was SO nice, we all looked at it concerned it was going to be too dense and sweet and that we may die, however it actually turned out to be really light moist cake, which balanced well with the sticky chocolate, cream and pears inside.

Towards the end of the evening I had to have a bit of a puff on my bird as I was feeling really breathless, but overall I wasn't as bad as I had been the night before which was a relief. Raj evenutally headed off home it is always SUCH a pleasure to see him, and next time he said he may well bring his new girlie!! Most exciting :o)

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

The Return Of High Priestess Tor

Many moons ago a story began that went a little like this....

Chapter 1

The Beginning

In a small village called Am-thill on the edge of a dark forest was an institute of knowledge known as the Red-Bornè. Three children all born to come into power studied the moving of the universe there and forged a friendship that would see them through many long hours of darkness.

Lord Jarmies Marquis of the region of Brogborough was a wild character even in the early days. Insane of mind he always proved loyal to the cause and had a particular affiliation with ‘sticky’ spots, and so proved handy for getting out of them.

Prince Adme Lord of the Bog of Eternal Stench, born to rule his vast swamp empire when he came of age, settled well into the position of leader of the group. Fiercely loyal and devoted, a true caring soul he would the form the core of the trio around which their formidable power and light would gather.

Finally Tor, they all knew she was special. The Dean of Red-Bornè, Professor Brook, had her marked as someone who would change the world.

Chapter 2

The Coming of The Priestess

An insignificant journey it had seemed at first, a simple pilgrimage to the musical temple of Marillion. But as Tor had stood in the falling Autumn snow looking up at the high windows of the shrine a vision had come to her. Colourful strands of wool woven together in a scarf of power. Upon her return to Red-Bornè Tor began to knit.

Many months she spent closeted in corners of the institute furiously weaving together the rainbow coloured strands of yarn until finally it was done.

A scarf nigh on 20 feet in length and imbued with the power of light. Every colour of the rainbow glistened from the bright threads as she ran the completed work through her hands. ‘Adme it is done’ Tor cried out!

‘Hurrah’ Adme cried! Then Jarmies came running up to see what was going on ‘Oh wow that scarf should not exist!’ he shouted with glee grabbing the scarf and running round the room with it.

....Sadly the rest of the adventures were lost in the mists of time, broken phones and deleted text messages, which is a terrible shame as they were quite hilarious and told wild tales of sailing over vast oceans in washing baskets eating jelly-babies and drinking pink champagne. Also distant now is the tale of how, for one grand, perfect and beautiful day High Priestess Tor became a Goddess, but from that she fell, she fell a long way, until she lay broken holding nothing more than a ring that was just a band of gold and a twenty foot scarf muddy at it's ends.

Thus High Priestess Tor's days of knitting drew to a close, and the scarf full of faded magic and mud was folded away and put at the back of the wardrobe on the threshold of Narnia where it belongs, only dug out on the rare occasions that she is reunited with her Marquis and Prince.

That is until today.

The wool has gotten more tasteful, and the general aims a lot less fantastical, but nevertheless begun again has the knitting and returned has the priestess.

Monday, 25 August 2008

Mwhahahaha!!!


The fat grey mouse is dead!!

The fat grey mouse is dead!!!

Hurrrah!!

Hurrah!!

Mwhahahahaha!!!




..............you're next little black kitchen mouse!!

I was so tempted to take a photo, but I thought that would just be too disgusting, he was sat in such a funny dead pose at the back of the trap, like a fat portly man from a Dicken's novel with his nasty clawed little feet resting on his fat peanut butter filled belly, oh he looked so smug, smug and dead....victory is mine mwhahaha!!!

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Poppy Puppy Sitting


Some band are playing somewhere in the world and so once again it befell me to go and dog sit for the rents. Sadly not long after I went up last time little Bertie had to be put to sleep as he was just not getting any better, however he has since been replaced by Poppy the puppy soon to be joined by Carmen from Battersea.

The run up wasn't too bad, apart from the bit where my i-pod played 'Season's End' the first Marillion song I ever sang to Edward when he was just a few days old causing me to burst into tears! Alex, my brother, and his chum Tom picked me up from the station and we went and collected the sewing machine I won on ebay for a stunning £5! As I suspected, given its age, it is hideously heavy and I began to plot how on earth to get it home.

We then went to the supermarket and got some nice easy microwave food and a few other snacks including some rather scrummy jammy dodger bars which my friend Jo raves about all the time.

When we got in Poppy was terribly over excited and got caught between saying enthusiastic bitey jumpy hellos and piddling so opted for both at the same time....nice! After we'd sorted her out we made nachos and cheese and pizza and all headed out into the garden where we proceeded to stuff our faces and play with the pooch.

Late afternoon as it started to cloud over we headed inside, and I went for a nap. Not long after Alex got a call from his work (who technically he'd just worked his last shift for) and so he went off to that leaving Poppy in with me. She thought it was a fantastic opportunity to eat the contents of the guitar room, rather boringly on my part, I didn't agree and so took her back downstairs to the lounge where I proceeded to vegetate.

Alex eventually got home and we watched lots of youtube stuff together including a truly hilarious re-working of the Nickleback track 'Rockstar' it is too all intent and purposes the sequel titled 'Popstar'



I then headed to bed as my nap had been rather short-lived and puppy filled!

Saturday we both woke up around 7.30, I sorted the puppy while Alex got ready to go to Reading Festival with his girlie, it was nice though as we got the chance to eat breakfast together before he headed off.

The rest of the day was rather boring on the whole, I was really tired and the house was so messy and dirty it made my asthma really bad so I didn't feel well enough to move far without ending up gasping. So I read FHM and watched lots of really bad TV most of which I'm too ashamed to even name, however come the afternoon the x-factor marathon began and so I watched that and bitched about all the crazy loons with my sister on msn as she watched it, though she kept going off to the loo and to get food and stuff and so kept getting out of sync!

I also chatted with my chum Nick who I haven't spoken to for ages which was really awesome as though we often say 'hi' on msn we hardly ever have a proper conversation as we've both got a bit lazy, and I'm always distracted, I also have less to say these days as my life is happy and I'm content, sad that, you'd think I'd have more to say than when I was miserable.

Eventually I headed up to bed and took Poppy with me as she's not used to sleeping on her own yet. She had a really mad few minutes when she first got upstairs literally bouncing off the walls, but once the light was off she soon settled down. Overall though I didn't sleep well that night as I was so paranoid about her peeing on the new carpet also she kept waking and moving about and trying to cuddle my head.

At around 5am she finally woke up properly and started pawing me and the door so I took her out for a wee, and gave her some food and water. I then left her in the kitchen hoping it wouldn't be too weird for her as I figured it would just be like being left there when everyone goes off to work, as I REALLY needed more sleep as I was feeling so ill and it was so early. At about nine I woke to her whining so went down and let her out. She had attacked a plant and spread that all over the floor and more worryingly turned the oven on.... I was just SO glad it wasn't the hob as my parents have a huge gas range cooker, which like every other surface in their house also serves as a dumping ground for crap, if she'd hit the hob rather than the oven god knows what would have happened!

I cleaned up the murdered plant and we went back in the lounge and again vegetated till Alex got home with Emma and he then took me to the station, he helped me onto the train with the sewing machine so I didn't have to carry it far.

I chatted with a nice lady on the train who even offered me a lift home, however I didn't want to hold her up as I knew I was going to be slow and that I'd need a trolley for the machine. So when we arrived we said our goodbyes and headed our separate ways. When I got in I went straight on my bird and then had a sleep with some Oxygen for a few hours till I got woken to the delightful sound of Edward screaming his head off!!

It turned out he'd decided to remove his nappy and smear himself in poo while Luke wasn't looking, and then had the cheek to take objection to being hosed down.

While I was gone the boys had an ok time, apparently Edward wasn't too whingey which he often is when I'm gone Luke also used the re-usable nappies, I hoped this was a sign he was finally converting, but sadly no, he just could not be arsed to go to the shop for Pampers. Edward is pretty much mobile now as he's worked out how to pull himself along on his belly aided a little by his legs, and he kept crawling round and trying to poke his fingers into Luke's computer....oh dear we knew this day would come.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

The finest Chocolatier to ever befriend a Spaniard

Today has been one of awesome fun and giggles!

After a terrible nightmare overnight where I never made it to Reading thanks to 'Bianca' from Eastenders and an overdue library DVD I ended up waking up relatively early paranoid it may come true and I may accidentally miss my day out.

I was quite nervous and excited as I haven't really been on a day trip with Edward to see a friend outside of London, so I worried I would forget to pack something. Sometime later and totally over-packed we headed out to Paddington via the post-office to post the faulty rat-trap back to the Amazon.

The train journey wasn't the most pleasant as it was packed with Reading festival goers some of which were rather unaware of their bulging rucksacks. I did however get a seat and spent the journey softly stroking the sleeping Edward's fluffy head.

We pulled into the Ding, it was SO nice to be back, this place has been many things to me over the years, but without fail is somewhere I have a good time, so well after a year of promising myself I was going to go it was really satisfying to finally be here!

We fought our way off the platform past all the be-wellied and be-tented ones and met Mr Chris by the door. We made a b-line for the festival-goer-free part of town and ended up by the canal where there was a small 'beach' that had obviously been set up for the summer. We were very tempted to let Edward to go mad in the sand, but decided that having a sand filled baby for the rest of the afternoon would be unwise, so we just sat and chatted and got given freebies by some girls from Lush :o)

After much debating and much indecisiveness on my part we eventually decided to go to New Orleans or was it Old Orleans? I doubt it's age makes much difference, it had table cloths you could draw on and that sold it to me! We had yummy foods and drew many beautiful pictures of our old characters from the role-play game we used to be in together where he was a Spaniard and I was cat highly skilled in the art of chocolate making....for no reason at all and for one day only Batman joined the party too!

We were tempted to take the table cloth at the end but decided a photo would suffice
I think it is fairly obvious which ones the talented Mr Chris drew and which ones I scrawled!

After main lunch we headed over to Krispy Kreme for pudding. I have seen these shops with increasing frequency and have heard many people rave about them. I must admit they were most tasty, by far the best doughnut I've had in years, and not too overpriced especially in comparison to any cakes from somewhere like Starbucks.

We then went to John Lewis to buy me some wool as my knitting needles arrived this morning. I am planning to join a knitting group so keep you eyes peeled for that forthcoming adventure. Afterwards and clearly in need of more wool, two balls not being enough for someone who can't actually knit, we decided to brave the ever so slightly creepy family run department store where they still write receipts by hand and send money round the building through weird vacuum powered tubes. It turned out to be much more affordable that John Lewis and is where all my future wool purchases shall be made...Mr Chris can't wait ;o)

It was actually a lot more sunny than this photo indicates...
....hurrah for over packing though as it meant we had a blanket

We then decided to go up to the park and sit in the sunshine, which is what we did indeed do, and where we spent the rest of the afternoon chilling, chatting and trying to persuade Edward that leaves and Mr Chris's shoes did not constitute good food....I don't know you feed a baby one chip and a crumb of doughnut and they go junk-food craaaaaaaaazy!!

Everybody has a fetish for Mr Chris' shoes it would seem!

It was finally time for Edward and I to head home and for Mr Chris to wander off to band practice, he walked us up to the station and we managed to get almost straight on a train, but not before I accidentally blasted poor Edward in the face with the hand dryer in the loo...ooops!! Quite funny though mwhaha!

All in all and utterly fantastic day and now I know how close it is, and how easy it is to get there, I'm sure I will once again become a regular visitor to the glorious glorious land of the Ding.

The Bird Has Landed!!!


Hurrah!! Finally after a VERY long wait, lots of faffing, oxygen contract jiggling and the delivery of a stand my Bird Mark 7 Respirator is finally here and fully operational!!

This machine is basically an old fashioned ventilator that I use to help me with my physio. I take a small breath which triggers the machine, I then keep breathing as it forces more air and oxygen in under pressure inflating my lungs far more than I have the strength to do on my own.

It has a number of advantages;

  • It is significantly less tiring enabling me to do better and longer physio sessions even when I'm really unwell and breathless
  • It forces my lungs open further than I can under my own strength which is great as it stops all the weak little damaged tubes from permanently sticking together and forgetting how to move
  • It enables me to clear even really thick sputum from really small airways as I can direct the pressure into where I need it and get it behind the sputum, normally when I'm tired it takes so much energy and strength to direct the air it's hard to also take a deep breath at the same time, this solves that
  • It is oxygen powered, so I get less breathless whilst doing physio which enables me to do longer sessions
  • I can put ventolin directly in the device saving me a bit of neb time, and also keeping the vent. dose going in throughout my treatment whilst also getting the drug into much deeper and smaller airways
All in all a truly fantastic bit of kit and I'm overjoyed to have it as I'm hoping it will help me keep myself well, and maybe even, fingers crossed, see me improve my baseline lung function... Big big thankyous to all the many people who've helped me get hold of one I know it's taken lots of long phone calls and letter writing.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Unforgiveable Apathy


I've been SO lazy today, and I haven't really even felt guilty about it, I just cannot be bothered to do anything even though there is plenty that needs doing round the house.


Apart from looking after Edward and myself today I have done almost nothing other than vegetate on-line and in-front of the TV. In the morning I did speak to a journalist on the phone, she appealed for people with baby stories on my birth-club and I put us forward as I thought we'd make a good story and I know that the magazines can pay quite well, I'm also hoping we may get a nice family photo-shoot out of it.


Mostly I think I'm recovering from yesterday and preparing myself for tomorrow's trip to Reading to see Mr Chris.... I shall leave you now with many beautiful photos of my gorgeous gorgeous boys, I have probably put too many similar ones up, but they are just so heart-warming I can't choose between them :o)


Edward casting magic spells....we suspect 'summon milk'



I'm telling you Daddy that IS the way it's cast!


Oh Daddy you're so funny!!


BUNDLE!!!


A Lovely Evening Out

Cousin Emily came to babysit Edward yesterday so that Luke and I could have a night out together. I spent most of Monday afternoon looking at all the restaurants and things to do in London trying to choose what to do and where to go.

We looked at a cruise and dinner on the Thames, there are some nice ones available but it was a little bit too expensive for just a normal evening out, we were also a bit worried about getting to the dock in time to catch it. We also looked at some dinner and theatre packages and again there are some good ones available especially for Wicked which is the show I'd most like to see, however again this was a bit pricey and we were worried about time.

We then decided the best thing would be cinema and a film, however after looking at the listings we decided there wasn't really anything on we were prepared to pay £20 to see, annoyingly Hell Boy 2 isn't out yet as we would have gone for that. We thought of going to see Batman but I haven't seen the first one, in the new series, and also we wanted to see it at the Imax however the only screenings with seats left are in the middle of the day around two, or midnight...tempting but I just know I'd fall asleep.

So all in all after lots of unrealistic over planning we decided to keep it simple and just go out for a nice meal. I narrowed it down to a Burmese place that sounded really friendly or a theatrical place in the West End that has opera singers and such walking around and is decorated like a theatre, I left in Luke's hands to choose which one he wanted to take me too....he chose a Thai place on the river that we'd walked past when we went to see the Telectroscope.

We spoilt ourselves and got a taxi, Luke wanted to keep it a surprise as to where exactly we were going and so I put my fingers in my ears jokingly. As we drove the taxi driver kept pretending to let slip the surprise asking things like 'so what time DOES the London Dungeon close?' finally he dropped us by Borough Market telling us as he did so that it is where they filmed lots of 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'. I love it when you get proper London cabbies that banter and tell your touristy things, it makes the taxi ride into a real event.

Luke was a bit disorientated and couldn't quite work out which way to go, I guessed at this point we may be going to one of the restaurants on the water front, and even suspected the Thai place as he knows that's my favourite cusine, so I pointed the way to the river-front.

I was indeed correct and we went in, we thought they were going to seat us at the nice table by the window but it had been reserved for someone else so we got put in-front of a wall! It didn't matter though because I was looking at Luke as he is SO sexy and gorgeous.

The food was beautifully cooked and the place had a real 'out of London' vibe, I think because all the tables were well spaced and we didn't end up spending dinner listening to the next tables conversation like last time we went out for dinner. We talked about lots of things, such as our friends and travelling, I made a real effort not to talk about Edward too much as this was 'our' time.

After dinner we decided to try and catch the last 'flight' on the London Eye however even though it wasn't too far down the river there wasn't any clear route to it. We spent more time wandering down roads with traffic on them, that on the romantic river front, which was a shame, but we still had an enjoyable time. We got to Blackfriars around the time the Eye shut and so decided to give up and head home, I fell asleep wrapped in Luke's arms on the tube.

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

War Bulletin

I have been informed by one of my spies that the mices did in-fact make a cheeky move last night, there was much leaping and scurrying and running under the desk....fools...did they think I wouldn't find out??

Amazon have informed me that the trap is now out of stock and so I cancelled my order through them and have placed one with another company for the same product...what a kerfuffle!

Update on the War

The mouse trap arrived...hurrah!!

The mouse trap was faulty...boo!!

All has been quiet here on the Western front, not a squeak nor a nibble has been heard since I saw them last week. I think the mices must have caught wind of my evil plans....I knew I shouldn't have cackled quite so gleefully when I plotted their downfall, it is the typical bad guy mistake to give away the evil plan before they are actually dead thus giving them time to escape dam dam dam!!

On the plus side Amazon are already shipping me another and paying the return postage (so they should) so hopefully in a few days the war will truly begin in earnest.

Sunday, 17 August 2008

You've got to have Faith

I sell this pretty baby to you pretty lady... I give you good price...free dribble!

We had a chilled out morning Edward and I had a lovely breakfast together, he did really well feeding himself. I finally managed to do the washing today and Luke did the kitchen all good.

In the afternoon Faith, a friend of mine from uni came over and we had a good girlie gossip and cuddled Edward, she was amazed by how much he had grown and how much more aware and interactive he is now compared to when we went for a picnic back at the start of the summer. She has also (foolishly) added herself enthusiastically to our list of babysitters, hurrah! So hopefully she is going to watch him one afternoon in a week or so's time so Luke and I can go and see The Dark Knight at the I-max cinema.

In the evening all three of us cuddled up and watched more Trigun, I'm loving it more and more, Vash is so awesome, he reminds me alot of Luke :o) The best bit was when Edward decided to grab Luke's face so he couldn't turn his head and 'forced' him to keep watching!! Hehe!!

I love my boys and I love my life, I am a lucky lucky girl :o)

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Munchausen by Internet

It is a sad day today in the American CF community, and the CF community as a whole. There has been a blog running about a girl called Pepe who supposedly had CF and went through a transplant, the person has been exposed as a fake, or probably more acurately someone suffering from Munchausen by Internet.

I was not an avid reader of the blog, I don't know why but I just never got around to checking it regularly, however it did have quite an audience of people who were hoping and praying for Pepe and who were utterly emotionally, and in some cases financially, involved in the story.

It has annoyed and upset me, despite my lack of personal involvement, on principle. Although I wasn't involved in her story there have been others who's story I have become involved with such as Emily's and Oli's, I can't imagine how utterly betrayed I would have felt had either of their blogs turned out to be hoaxes. There have been some very low points in the last few years where literally the only thing that has got me through to the end of the day has been a little voice in my head saying 'If Emily and Oli could do this, worse than this, then you can too!'.

It is a disgusting manipulation of the emotions and trust of the CF and transplant community, a community that is made of vulnerable people.

Almost more scary however has been the way sections of the community has reacted, someone has set up a blog literally, and very successfully, stalking this person and every website they have ever contributed to, many have made violent threats. I understand the anger, but at the same time it is just the internet, you can just never truly know unless you KNOW that person in real life, it never ceases to amaze me how het up people can get over someone they don't know!

It has served as a reminder to me just exactly what the internet is made up of. I am always telling friends off for posting details that link them to a specific place or taking part in those stupid 'what's your porn name' things that are just designed to get personal information out of you. Even today I have been sat here thinking back over all my posts and trying to work out if at any point I've given too much information away about where we live and what are lives are like.

I guess that is the problem with a blog, you want people to see it and read about you, but at the same time you don't really want people to know anything too personal. My friend Adam and I actually discussed my blog and he commented on how different it is in style to my old one which was much more emotional and detailed. I admit that even I at times look at this blog with a certain level of dislike, it's a very 'happy clappy this is what I did today' kind of affair, there is very little in depth analysis of how I actually feel and what I think about things, but then I think I have become more aware of my potential audience

This a totally public forum after all, any future employer or client of mine could read it and I'm not sure I really want them to know all the dark emotional wrangling that goes on in my little mind, nor do people I know read this really want to know the gory details of what Luke and I do with chocolate buttons of a nighttime ;o)

I don't want to be at risk, I don't want my family to be at risk, yet at the same time I like having a blog, I even stated it as one of my hobbys on my birthclub, and heaven knows I have few hobbys as they are hard things to maintain when you are unwell and have no energy all the time. I guess you just have to be careful.

I find it amazing how involved strangers do become (and I write this like I'm not one of them haha!) but when you read these blogs you really do begin to feel like you KNOW the people involved and begin to share their hopes and ambitions with them, and cry and worry at their troubles. On some levels it scares me, and on other levels I think it is actually the true power of blogging, the way it gives people a platform to speak and an audience to listen, an audience to care, I think it brings out the best of the human spirit, and demonstrates far better than any myspacefacebook can what true social networking is about, it's not some empty list of 'friends' it is about connecting, and about caring, you give up something of yourself and in return you get something back.


So back to normal happy clappy scheduling we go...

Thursday - was a day of rest, I laid about the house and did nothing but snuggle with my boys adn watch DVD's in order to recover from the excitement caused by the mices and ballerinas.

I watched 'The Last King of Scotland' it is VERY good, though very sad as basically it's happening all over again as we speak in Zimbabwae and yet again to my shame it is us English who had a major hand in putting a madman in charge.

However I am also angry with the people of Africa as I whole, why don't they get their shit together and sort themselves out?? They could be a rich nation they have lots of valuable natural resources and a lot of manpower, if they just stopped bickering and squandering it all on corruption and guns and stopped shilly-shallying about waiting for someone else to sort it out they would all be a lot better off!! That said if I had a bunch of guys in a jeep with massive guns riding through my village shooting and raping everything in site I don't suppose I would be that keen to make a stand and make a change either. Sad world.

I thought the most clever thing about the whole film however was how little it showed of the ongoing genocide, despite the fact the characters were right at the centre of it. It demonstrated exactly how these atrocities happen and continue to happen, because those who could do something choose to bury their heads in the sand because they personally have something to gain from doing so.

And if all that heavy political stuff doesn't do it for you it also has lots of shots of James MacAvoy's bottom in it :o)

Friday - I meant to take Edward swimming but his skin was so bad I thought it unwise as I didn't want to aggravate it. So I spent the morning supervising Edward's nappy-free time whilst watching 'No Country For Old Men'. It was a good film, though I think it thought it was more intelligent than it actually was, I felt the serial killer was a silly character who spoilt the film and they just used him as a device to say certain things, but as he was so melodramatic and cliché they'd have been better off leaving him out, Tommy Lee Jones however was utterly fantastic.

I then took that and the other DVD as well as some books back to the library as they were only on short loan. I left Edward in his daddy's capable hands as I couldn't be bothered with heaving him on and off the bus!

I wandered back slowly via some shops where I got some nice candle/sauce dishes and then the pharmacy. Luke cooked us dinner we had tasty chicken kari...he's branching out :o)

Saturday - I had a lovely long sleep from 11pm last night till 8.30 this morning!! It was truly blissful :o) I think the sleepies must have stayed with me as I really haven't done much all day expect faff about on-line. I planned to go and get maple syrup so I could do American pancakes which I have been craving lately but in the end lazed out and just made Luke a plain bacon sandwich.

In the afternoon/evening I made roast beef, Edward particularly liked the Yorkshire puddings :o)

After Luke finishes raiding with his WHOLE guild
(very exciting stuff I can tell you!) we are going to watch some more Trigun which is turning out to be rather good, it really makes me want to roleplay though as the structure of the episodes feels so much like an RPG plot, it really makes me laugh as alot of the time the animation of the lead character is naff......but whenever he is saying something profound or trying to chat up a girl they sex him up manga styleeee!!



Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Mices and Ballerinas


We have mice...there have been rumours that we had them for some time, but last night they made their most ambitious move and came out of hiding and scampered back and forth across the lounge and then I went in the kitchen and there was another one of the little cretins, he may have run off the counter and behind the dishwasher at speed, but not speedily enough, I saw him!!

This morning I ordered wire wool, the pest control recommended hole blocking device and an all signing all dancing all electrocuting vermin trap! I did consider getting a good old fashioned spring loaded one, but I figured this is central London and that mouse was a porker so he's not going to fall for that and it was best to just get a good trap to start with, and this seemed to be highly recommended on Amazon by lots of people with mice that had outwitted simpler traps.

It is amusing but there is something about rats and mice in the house that brings out the animal in you and makes you go all primal. Luke last night was stalking the house like a true man with a club, while I may or may not have squealed like a big fat girl every time they ran out of their hiding places. I feel I am quite traumatized by childhood images from 'The Lady and the Tramp' where the rat attacks the baby, complete with the hysterical shrieking granny, if you haven't memorized said film see the relevant scene in this YouTube clip about 4 minutes in. I will NOT have nasty mice nibbling my Edward!! This morning WAR was declared and I am going to win mwhahahaha!!! Your days are numbered little mices!!

Having plotted my warfare suitably I then took Edward to the library to the song and games session I have been meaning to take him to for over a month. We got there to find it was a special session and they had guests in from The Royal Ballet, namely a ballerina and a flute player. It was really good fun there was lots of movement, and a story, and then more moving and dancing about as we, *cough* the children acted out bits of the book. Bouncing Edward about and waving his arms and all the general prancing got quite tiring after a while though, and some of it I couldn't really work out a way to include him, so towards the end we just sat and watched. He really enjoyed it though he was quite tired by the end. I found it most amusing to watch all the little girls go green with envy as they watch the professional ballerina do lots or graceful ballerina moves, and smiled as they all tried their very hardest to copy her.

After getting out a few books for Edward we went to the grown-up library took a book back, and got out a few books, DVD's and an X-box game called Timeshift I quite liked the look of, Luke was SO impressed with me when he saw it :o)

After that we went to the doctors and dropped off my prescription, then Boots to get baby rice, Edward helpfully nibbled the box while we waited in the queue, and finally to the supermarket to do the weekly shop, Luke came down and met us there as I needed his manly strength to carry all the heavy shopping.

When I got in I was tired, but not exhausted, it's amazing what a few good nights sleep will do for a girl!

In the evening I puréed some apple for Edward. For Luke and I, I did gammon, for myself I made broccoli and courgette in cheese sauce. It didn't work terrible well as the roué went lumpy, sadly my quick browse of the internet yielded the most rubbish recipe of all time, I'm certain that next time it will be better.

On the weight issue, I weighed myself and I don't weigh as little as I thought which is good news, on our scales I came in at 49kg, not great but not as bad as I had thought. I did my feed last night, it alarmed many times throughout the night waking me up, and at 3am I actually had to sit up, switch the light on and fiddle with the drip chamber to get it working again argh!!!

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Simple Measures



Edward the teaspoon

Daddy the serving spoon


Mummy the desert spoon


Today has been a MUCH better day, we've all spent lots of time cuddling and playing together, we also all watched 'Hell Boy' together cuddled on the sofa. Edward has been in a much better mood, I'm not sure if it's because his teeth hurt less, because he had a better nights sleep,or what, but it's been lovely to have my happy content little baby back, I've really missed him.

I've felt a little better today, I'm not sure how much of it's physical and how much is mental, as I still wasn't able to get all the things done I wanted to, but I think I was just in a better frame of mind and was more chilled and accepting...it can always be done tomorrow!

This morning Edward's new keyboard arrived, it's dribble proof, 'key-removing-srunchy-finger-proof' and can be dunked in the sink when it becomes sticky and disgusting!! Edward and I had a bit of a play when it first arrived, but the serious playing began when Luke woke up....my little programmers :o)


Monday, 11 August 2008

Exhausted and Incabable...

... that's how I feel today, it is very depressing and upsetting. I was meant to take Edward to be weighed and measured today as I haven't been for ages and it needs to be done, I also have a few questions I want to ask the health visitor.

There are a combination of factors I think that are making me feel unwell. My chest is obviously not great, and I'm not clearing well during physio still, however I don't think I have a raging infection and Luke agrees as I tend to smell different when I do. I think my weight is playing a major factor, I don't know how little I actually weigh at the moment, which is naughty of me as I've been supposed to be making an effort to put on weight, but I'm struggling. The stupid thing is if I do my feed the weight would go on without any problems, but I just keep not doing it, there are reasons for this.

The first and most obvious is just sheer laziness and not being bothered with all the faff of setting it up each night and taking it down each morning, however that plays a relatively small part as I know full well I can ask Luke to get it for me.

The second reason is exhaustion, I'm so tired and desperate to get a good nights sleep I am reluctant to hook up my pump as it frequently alarms in the night, I also worry constantly about it leaking, and will often wake with a start when I lie on the cold tube thinking it has disconnected.

Thirdly I worry about getting tummy ache and feeling bloated, it is a lot of milk and a big strain on my digestion which is really not working well at all at the moment. It's hard to motivate myself to do something I know is going to give me tummy ache.

Finally since my pregnancy I have had some very bizzare issues relating to body confidence. It is VERY unlike me and I can't really understand why I've suddenly started having problems with this aspect of self-confidence, I assume it must be some strange consequence of the hormones and perhaps a subconscious adjustment to my new identity as a mother. I know I'm not fat, I know I can easily be about 55kg before I get fat (I suspect at the moment I'm more like 45/48jg) however any weight I put on instantly makes me feel really fat. I think mentally I could overcome this if it wasn't for the fact that the feed makes my tummy bloated a lot of the time, and so I get a really fat lower belly, which looks even worse at the moment as I'm so thin. I know it's silly and shallow but it's how I feel and I'm struggling to overcome it constructively.

I think the knowledge that if I did do my feed the weight would pile on without problems (aside from the ones mentioned here) is almost a downside as it makes me complacent which I shouldn't be as a high weight is a good safety cushion to have.

Today has just been ridiculous, the only reason I managed to do what I did (namely tidy the bedroom and make the bed) is because I bought this lovely new bedding for Luke and I ages ago but we have been waiting for us both to be here, and for us to have the house to ourselves before we put it on. I wanted to get it done as I wanted it to be a nice romantic surprise for him when he got home.

However I wanted to do so much more, there were some lovely ideas I had about getting some chocolate buttons for us to eat together. I also had some other things I REALLY needed to do today such as put in my prescription, getting Edward measured as I said earlier, as well as taking him swimming, It was so frustrating to know I just couldn't do it.

I started to get quiet upset as I was just so exhausted, I just did a few tiny bits and then had to lay on the bed with Edward for about half an hour despite having had a lie-in this morning (after sorting Edward first thing).
This has been going on all of the last week or so, I have frequently been having to nap in the day, and even on days I haven't actually had a nap I've seriously thought about it or had to have a bit of a lay down and a rest, this is despite having done hardly anything really...today the cumulation of it all caught up with me.

It makes me worry about what kind of mother I'm going to be to Edward and what kind of girl-friend I am to Luke as I'm not that nice when I'm tired, I get grumpy and impatient. I know I haven't been very good with Edward the last few days when really he needed me to be understanding. I am also really stressing about uni, I just keep thinking if I'm this tired when I'm doing nothing, how am I going to cope with two mornings a week at uni.

I then think that part of the reason I've become so weak and pathetic is exactly because I've done nothing for over a year. Yes I have a bunch of baby activities lined up I could go to weekly, a bunch of friends I want to go visit, as well as ideas for things Luke and I could go out and do together, but they are all optional, so the minute I feel a bit feeble it's easy to bail out, there is nothing to push me and force me to go, which I don't think is a good thing, I think I need that push.

*sigh*

I don't know how much of this melancholy stems from a conversation I had with a friend of mine last night about transplants. She had one a few years ago and now has a lung function of 80%. I would love to be that well again, to be that free again, it is so frustrating and imprisoning to be this ill all the time. I just want a break from it, just to have a few weeks of being well so I could get on and go out and do all the stuff I keep putting off because I feel to tired and unwell. I know I shouldn't wish myself to be unwell enough to need a transplant, but hovering just above the boderline where my quality of life is questionable, makes me kind of wish I could just have one, get it over and done with, and get on with living.

Anyway...

Luke took Fred home today, it was lovely having him here, it was so sweet to see him playing with Edward who he adores, it was also nice to see Luke having fun playing with his little brother.

I really enjoyed having the house to myself, it's such a rare thing as Luke hardly ever goes out without me, and if he does it's usually just to pop to the shops, it's never for very long. So it was a treat especially after it's been so manic here recently with all sorts of people coming and going, it was nice to have my nice quiet house back to myself.

Even more than the space though I enjoyed the anticipation of expecting Luke to come home to me, it may sound mad but I think it says a lot about a relationship if you miss the person you love and really look forward to seeing them again when you are apart, even if it is only just for an afternoon :o)

Edward checking out the newly made bed!

Sunday, 10 August 2008

Sunday Lunch and TOOTHIE-PEGS!

It's been a quiet few days since the butterfly trip, we did mean to go and see a Chinese Theatre production in Trafalgar Square but got up too late in the end!

I have to say it will be REALLY nice to put Edward back in his own room tomorrow once Uncle Fred has gone home. He's a gorgeous baby but I've been sleeping in the same room or bed as him for over a week now and he's been in our room quite a lot before that as we've had various people staying over, I think we just unsettle each other, my coughing wakes him and his shuffling and grunting wakes me!! This morning I actually evicted him, cot and all, from our room as I desperately needed more sleep!

Today we had my old friends Gosia and Bartek over for Sunday lunch. We had roast porky-workies and the crackling worked really well which I was very pleased about. We mostly just caught up on what each of us has been doing as we haven't seen each other for a few months.

By far the most exciting thing to have happened is that Edward has finally cut his first little tooth! It explains why he's been so grumbly and horrible recently, I just hope we get a bit of a break before the next one comes through as it's not nice to have him so unsettled all the time as he obviously isn't happy.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Butterflies and Cake

Today has been a lovely day. After a lazy start my Mummy Chummy Shaune and her son Xander picked Edward and I up and we drove across town to the Natural History Museum.

When we got there, there were signs saying 'buggy park' and we got worried we'd have to carry the boys round, but hoped we wouldn't have to as both of them are quite chunky now. However when we bought our tickets it became clear we did have to carry them, we hesitated a little but decided that we should do it anyway as we'd planned this all week, and I've actually been wanting to go to see this for ages.

There was a maze thing where you could get a card stamped at all the different sections, however the boys were too young for it and we were too old! We both agreed it would have been really fun if they'd just been a bit older. At the end of the maze was the butterfly house.

We went through and were immediately hit by the heat and humidity, all four of us instantly started sweating which was a bit of a worry with the babies. They both instantly spotted the butterflies and both were totally entranced watching them fluttering around and eating from the flowers and settling on the leaves. They were really beautiful, all such vivid colours, some of them were so large though they were a bit unnerving.

We walked round slowly letting both of the babies have a good look at everything, whilst also of course having a good look ourselves. We had a bit of a perch on the bench as our arms were killing us by that point and took some photos, both of us agreed we don't have enough photos of us with our babies, nor do either of us have many 'family photos' so it was nice to take a couple, it was a shame we didn't have the buggies or it would have been a bit easier, and we would have been able to take some of the butterflies too, but never mind.

When we came out it was such a relief, though previously it had felt muggy, in comparison to the hot butterfly house it felt positively fresh!

We then walked down to the gorgeous cakie shop :o) It does the most magical tasty fairy-tale cakes covered in ridiculous amounts of colourful icing and sprinkles in all the world!! I finally got to try their red-velvet cake, I had bought one before along with a pink cake one time when I was in the Brompton, though I gave the red-velvet cake to my friend Sam who had been stuck in for ages and needed cheering up.

We chatted and ate our cakes, and when we finished we headed back to the car as Xander was starting to get hungry, poor thing he's also teething quite badly so wasn't a very happy chap.

In the car on the drive home Xander was crying and it frightened Edward and made him cry, it was so funny as they kept setting each other off. Shaune and I decided we would be like those horrible mothers that make you play with a child you don't like just because the mums are friends!!

All in all a lovely day out and I'm really pleased that I've managed to do a 'baby thing' as I've been a bit rubbish recently at getting up and out and making myself do things....you never know we may make it to the swimming pool tomorrow!

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Locked Out!!

It's been a rather lazy few days since I got back from the wedding, really I have lots to do as the house is a tip and there's hardly any puree left in the freezer but I've just been pretty tired out.

Yesterday I literally did nothing but watch i-player and TV and generally laze about, I didn't even cook dinner we got a take-away hehe!

Today hasn't really been any better, I've written a few e-mails to people I've meant to write to for ages. I put a bit of washing on though I doubt it's going to get hung up today haha!

We finally headed out to buy some food early evening as we'd pretty much run out, we walked out the flat, Luke pulled the door shut, and as the lock clicked we suddenly realised neither of us had keys or our phones! We tried going down to see if the porters had a spare set, which they didn't. We stood in the street for a bit panicking over what to do, we considered rushing up to the estate agents to see if they were still open and if they had a set, obviously couldn't phone them as we didn't have our phones. We also considered Luke shimmying up the drainpipe though neither of us were keen on that plan. Thankfully just then our favourite porter walked past and I asked him if by any chance he had a ladder, he did and rushed off to get it for us. A few minutes later Luke was up that like a monkey and in through the window, I wish I'd had my camera as the sight of his legs disappearing through the window was hilarious!!

After that drama we finally headed off to the supermarket, got round relatively quickly, and I even managed to quite accurately guess how much we'd spent before it went through the till. Poor Luke and Fred nearly died on the way home carrying it all though as we got lots of heavy veggies and meat!

When we got in I fed Edward while Luke started dinner. Then Uncle Fred and I gave Edward a bath. Luke then fed him his milk and put him to bed while I cooked the dinner namely very lazy, but very tasty nachos and cheese :o)

Monday, 4 August 2008

A VERY English Country Wedding

Edward looking SO impressed with the whole camping gig!!


This was as much a weekend away with my family as it was a trip to Fleur's wedding, our only chance this summer to all spend time together in the glorious Crossland caravan.

Edward-Tedward and I headed over late morning, the trip wasn't too eventful and thankfully we managed to get on a fast train, though annoyingly it had really narrow doorways so there was a rather messy shoving moment as I rammed Edward onto the train!

Alex then picked us up and we headed to TESCO's to get food and nappies for Edward as they had been to heavy and bulky to bring with us. We then headed out to Mothercare and Next. Mothercare had sadly shut down though actually it turned out to be a good thing as Mummy had already bought the cot I meant to buy and just forgotten about it! We went into Next to get Alex a tie, and found a nice grey one with purple stripes that went with his shirt, the customer service was appalling though and what few staff there were there were all half asleep and so it took about three hours to get through the till!

We then headed home where Daddy was already waiting for us. We chilled for a bit killing time before Mummy was due to finish work, we then shoved the last few things in the Landrover and headed over, we got a call from Mummy just as we were leaving to say the person she was caring for had just had a fit and so she would be late. Actually as it worked out we didn't have to wait for her for too long, and I don't think it made much of a difference to the traffic which was relatively clear all the way, well at least I think it was I was actually asleep most of the journey, despite having major chest pains that I thought were going to land me in hospital :o(

When we got to the site I waved rather feebly out of the car at people before hiding in the bed with Edward and going to sleep, Grandmummy did all his bits for me as I was feeling too weak and in too much pain. That night I had a really high temperature but mostly slept through it, and Edward was relatively good and settled though did wake up quite early.

The day of the wedding we woke early and had a bit of breakfast, there was lots of rushing too and fro, and grumping from most parties. Edward and I kept a low profile and Alex straightened my hair while I did my neb. Eventually it was time to go and we all set off to the church where there were quite a few people already there. I thought we were all going in and so went on ahead in to the church itself (which was very small and sweet and beautiful) One of Simon's family greeted Edward and I as we entered and grinning at Edward said 'ooo I do hope he causes a ruckuss!' I foolishly assured him Edward would be good and hopefully not cause too much noise, though admitted I was under instruction from Fleur to pinch him so he'd cry as she wanted a traditional crying baby!


From almost the moment we sat down Edward started to agitate, I fed him milk, I gave him food I gave him cuddles, I sang him songs, but none of it made any difference he just fussed and moaned and threatened to cry the whole time. My hat kept falling over my eyes and my hair was so long it kept getting it the way!! All in all a bit of a quiet nightmare was going on in our little corner as the ceremony went on thankfully blissfully unaware. I did manage to see most of the important bits and it was truly lovely, however I feel I am now truly a mummy as I have experienced the 'baby at wedding' scenario, for those of you not 'in the know' it mostly involves singing '10 Little Ducks' to your little bundle of joy whilst your child-hood friend swears the most important vow of her life!!! Kind of surreal, but somehow quite fitting :o)

After the ceremony we headed back to the farm and had some drinks and nibbles on the lawn and set up Edward's new cot/tent so he could have a nap, as he was clearly utterly over tired. Finally after lots of grizzling he fell asleep. I could have quite easily joined him, but instead made do with just watching all the people chatting and all the dogs (who were beautifully dressed up for the occasion) frolick around the croquet lawn!

After a while, and conveniently just as Edward woke up it was time for lunch, so we all headed down to the barn which was beautifully decorated. I must admit my photos of the wedding are a bit non-existent as I was stressing over Edward, however I did take this one, which in many ways I think actually sums it all up rather well...


The dinner was a very scrummy hog-roast the odd off-cuts of which got pilfered and enjoyed thoroughly by the many maurading pooches! I sat with Alex, Edward and Daddy up at the back and we got chatting to some of Fleur's friends from Thailand and America. It was really nice to meet them as Fleur has been away growing up with them all, all these years, it fitted a few pieces into the jigsaw of who she is now for me.


The blushing bride herself :o)

Edward got cuddled by lots of people and stolen by Aunty Shellie and fed Cheesecake, which I think may be slightly better than when he got stolen by Uncle Alex whom I snapped with a very suspicious looking beer bottle!




All in all a very lovely afternoon, though by the end of it I was shattered and so headed off to do my drugs and have a lay down, I also thought Edward needed a bit of peace as he was starting to get a little fractious again despite being clean and fed. Once back at the caravan Edward went to sleep for the night, and after sorting out his bottles for the morning I joined him.

The next morning we all had a nice family breakfast together chatting and laughing which was fun. The whole atmosphere was much more relaxed now the wedding was over and there wasn't a risk of us missing it! Alex helped Shellie and Simon clear up the barn though as I wasn't going to be much help I stayed at the caravan. We then all headed off in a cavalcade to a local pub for a lunch arranged by Fleur and Simon for people who'd come a particularly long way. It was a really tasty affair, Edward had some vegetables whilst sat in a big boy high-chair that we tied him to using Fleur's shawl!


After that we went off to get some petrol for the generator, and picked up a few bits that had been requested and for breakfast the next morning. We dropped them off at the house and then spent the rest of the afternoon together in the caravan chatting before getting an early night. Though looking at this photo of Edward it seems he had a rather more wild time than the rest of us...trail of clothes...empty milk bottle....discarded wine glass!!! Shocking !!!


The next morning we again had tasty breakfast, then packed everything up and got ready to head home. We popped up to the house to say our goodbyes, and so I could have a nose around Fleur and Simon's tiny cute little fairy-tale house, as I took a moment to peek out of the window however I was stabbed in the foot by a hideous wasp/hornet who stung me so badly he actually drew blood!! Up to that point I'd been feeling so smug about not having been stung, especially as Shellie had been stung on the bottom three times, and Fleur's Simon had, had to go to A&E having swallowed a wasp...clearly I was not meant to leave there without one though!

The drive home was uneventful but painful due to my injury. Once home I had a nap with Edward, Daddy watched the Grand Prix, Alex went to work and poor old Mummy scrubbed out the caravan. Once Alex came home he took me to get a burger as I had terrible cravings for one, then we watched Scrapheap Drag Racing before all getting a reasonably early night.

This morning I got woken up early again by his Lordship whom I dutifully cleaned and fed, I then packed up our stuff as I wasn't sure if we were going in early with Daddy to the office. Actually in the end he went in with Alex and so I got a chance to have a bit of a lay down before Mummy and I had to go into Bedford.

I went to my solicitors and got the final bits of my divorce papers settled.... about two years after having actually got divorced! Then we picked up Daddy and got the train to London. We parted ways at St. Pancras as they were off to Battersea to see an orphaned Black Russian called Carmen. I headed home and fell into bed and have barely been out of it since....all in all a long weekend full of oak trees, sunshine and family :o)

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Shopping and Pie

It's been a rather busy couple of days here at the ranch.

Yesterday I went off in search of flexible ice-cube trays for putting puree in as it is not proving practical using pots as I don't have enough of them nor a big enough freezer to be able to do the kind of variety I want. I also decided that I wanted to get some individual pie bowls as I thought my steak and ale pie would work better if it was made in a bowl rather than being just meat on a plate with a piece of pastry placed on-top.

I headed out to Oxford St. and left Edward behind as it's easier without him. I went in a few shops comparing prices and availability before getting the ice cube trays from House of Frasier and then a rolling pin, potato masher and pie-bowls from John Lewis where I was helped by a rather crazy shop assistant who spent about fifteen minutes telling me all about her Swarovski Crystal animal collection... quite how she managed to get from 'Where are the ice-cube trays?' to that remains beyond me!


I then headed home via la supermarche where I got the ingredients though I had to phone Luke and get him to come and carry it home as it was too heavy as I bought lots of heavy vegetables!

When I got in I started the cooking as Steak and Ale pie has to cook for hours in order to be any good, it was quite exciting as this time not only did I have my fantastic new bowls but I was also using a new type of ale, specifically BADGER Ale!!!


Anyone who knows me knows I have something of a mild on-running love of badgers, I think it began with my Sylvania's and was cemented during the days I played a character called Gem who owned a war badger rather fittingly called Baddie who in one particular fight managed to kill a guard single handedly by biting him in the nuts!

Not long into the cooking Aaron arrived, followed a while later by Chris and Andy. It was lovely to see them as they haven't been over since our last pie night, personally I would have cooked something different but I was overwhelmed with demands for pie that I could not refuse.

We had actually been trying to arrange this dinner for a while but given a variety of factors we kept having to cancel until it got to the point that Andy was having 'Homer in the land of Chocolate' style dreams of pie, and Chris was becoming concerned that Andy may actually mistake him for a piece of ale dripped steak and eat him in the night!

We all sat down to eat (minus Aaron who had to go and pick up some stuff) and we ate lots and it was tasty and we had fairy cakes for puddings for which Luke made some very questionable looking icing that not too surprisingly only he and I ate. The boys all then played Call of Duty 4 together (which they had been doing before dinner too) until it was time for Chris and Andy to go home to bed as it was a school night. All in all very good fun!!

The rest of the evening wasn't so great as Edward was unwell and crying, we had to have him in the bed with us in the end and it took him a long time to settle and he woke frequently in the night. However come the morning he'd cheered up and was clearly feeling better and so I took him out with me, I also wanted to give Luke a chance to sleep as he did most of the night-care.

Today I had lots to do that involved running around town quite a bit. Firstly I had to go to the Library which is over by Paddington, I then had get my Freedom Pass done which also involved getting passport photos though thankfully there was a machine there though it cost £4.20!!

After that Edfart and I headed to Camden as I wanted to get a video I have, of a very old version of 'The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe' that Fleur, Shellie and I used to watch as kids transferred to DVD as a wedding present for Fleur, however sadly in the month or so since I was last there the shop has closed ARGH!!! Serves me right for not being more organised and getting it done sooner, though thankfully later Luke managed to find it on Amazon hurrah!

I then headed to Oxford St. as I realised that I didn't really have a bag that I could use this weekend that is a) big enough and b) able to sling over Edward's buggy. So lots of mooching and shopping and a spot of lunch later I came home with a FANTASTIC huge zebra bag, lots of clothes for Luke some new bedding (as I'm bored of what we have) some shoes to go with my dress for the wedding and a belt...hurrah for Primark :o)

This evening has been pretty laid back, I spent a few hours making a card for Fleur as I decided it would be gorgeous to do a tree with paper leaves all individually sewn on, it is pretty, but not something that could ever go into mass production I don't think haha!

Edward started feeling unwell again late in the evening and we had some more tears and lots of snot, so I've given him lots of cuddles and milk and hope that tonight he makes it through the night in his own bed and that he feels a lot better tomorrow.

Obviously things will be quiet the next few days, but I shall return with pictures of the wedding and lots of lovely stories I'm sure :o)