Monday, 1 September 2008

Clinical Justification

Well after clinic today I'm feeling oddly happier and more justified in how poo I've been feeling, I always worry that I'm being a hypochondriac and that I'm not as bad as I think I am, but actually it turns out I'm kinda of worse than I'd suspected.

Lung function was a rather vile 0.95 otherwise known as 23% eek....and my FVC was 1.45 or 30%, last time they were 31% and 48% and I wasn't that great then either. My oxygen levels were 89% - 90% which is bad as they put you on oxygen at about 92% - 90% depending on how understanding the doctor at the time is... this is the main reason for wanting to admit me, coupled with the very poor air entry into my poor little naughty lungs.

My weight is also down which I'm utterly mystified by, and actually quite annoyed about as I've been making an effort to eat more and do my feed, ever since that post I made a while back about being under-weight, it is also a worry as it indicates there could be a problem with my blood sugars (ie. diabetes) and so I may have to start doing insulin again. It's not that bad I had it when pregnant but it smells and I don't overly enjoy stabbing myself, I also worry about giving myself the wrong dose and putting myself in a coma, unlikely I know but it's scary stuff when you aren't used to it.

Iike I said at the start it sounds odd but in a way I am glad that I am actually ill and not just going mad, it's so easy to loose track of how well/unwell you are when you are going over and over the things you can't do, and the trips you didn't make in your head and trying to wiegh up if you were just being lazy and unfit or if you are genuinely too unwell.

I'm not sure what they are going to do this admission, I really hope it goes better than the last few I've had. I really hope they get to the bottom of this asthma business swiftly and do somethng about it and don't just faff which is a real risk when tackling things that are slightly uncertain. I also want to make sure that I'm put on a long term sustainable treatment for it, because whack-loads of steroids is not a good option in my book, and if that means we have to go through every asthma drug on the market then so be it.

So all in all it was a rather dire clinic appointment and not too suprisingly they have decided to admit me, so I've come home to pack, play one last game of reversi with Prince Adme Bogmulia Belkarty Lord Of The Reversi Bog and then I'm off for the forseeable future....let's hope Luke and Edward survive my absence :o(

See you when I'm home piglets xox

13 comments:

Gemma said...

oh no! Hope they find something to keep you going! I dont like steriods either although they make me have loads of energy!

Sarah Milne said...

Just catching up with your blog. I hope things are going well and you are soon feeling better. I hope they find something to help you along a bit. You are so strong and an inspiration.

Thanks for the lovely card you sent Hope and Ellie. I forwarded it to them and they showed me it when they came home at the end of last week.

Loads of love and hugs

Sarah x x x

Chantelle said...

hi hope your feeling better now? are you home yet?
did you get the card?
how is ed, i read his blog too lol
xx

Chantelle said...

if you want to chat on msn or by e-mail my e-mail address is o_tell@hotmail.com.
thank you for the very long comment, i normal do get long ones, it was nice :)
i was so shocked when charlotte told me what happened i just had to send a card and let you know were thinking of you.
i would chat more but i got to change connor lol boys will be boys, never give them a chocolet muffin x

Sarah Milne said...

Hi Toria, Luke and Edward
I have just read Diddyangel's post on the CF forum. You are all in my prayers. I am praying as hard as I can that Toria pulls through and is home to you soon. You are an amazing family.
With loads of love from Sarah xxx

Chantelle said...

hi toria....your in my heart, you got to get better.
not sure what eles to same.
xxxx

Gemma said...

Hey Toria, have heard alot of things are not going well for you and its really serious. Im thiking of you and diddyangel is letting us know how your doing everyday. Please get better xx

Tinypoppet said...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sarah Milne said...

Thanks for all the lovely blog comments and encouragement. I will so miss you here in cyber space. I hoped I would meet you and your lovely in the real world sometime. I was so sad to read the news on the CF forum. I have been checking in every day and today saw the thread I had been dreading to see. I am in tears as I type this.
Huge love to Luke and Edward and all your family and friends.
With loads of love from Sarah, Hope, Ellie and William xxxxxxxx

Chantelle said...

Hi Toria, really miss reading your blog, you had such a way with words.
i loved looking at little edward growing up hearing about what you all had been up to.
Thinking of you always xxx

Anonymous said...

Rest in peace honey

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you, Tor.

Anonymous said...

Love you tor and miss you so much. Think about you every day, your family are amazing, the last year has given me an opporunity to get to know them and mad as they are, I love them to bits! (think there is a saying there, something about birds and feathers..) I also saw the lovely Diana last week! Popped in for a short visit before she jetted off to another faraway land.

Anyway, thinking of you always

Lord Jarmies Marquis of the region of Brogborough

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