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I know this has all got a bit behind as I've been away, I will do a catch up post but will backdate it so make sure you don't miss it.
For now I just wanted to put these pictures up of Edward and Aunty Thea as they are just so gorgeous. She is such a perfect aunty she loves her little nephew so much, in a funny way it makes me feel really proud, both of Thea for being so wonderful, and Edward for being so adorable!
The final photo is from our trip out on Saturday. We had planned to go to Liberty's as Thea had read about it on my blog, however Gay Pride was on and we couldn't cross Regents Street to get to the shop. It didn't matter in the end though as walked down watching the parade which was quite moving in places, especially hearing the cheers for all the military staff who were allowed to wear their uniforms for the first time. Initially I didn't think it was appropriate for them to wear them, but then I decided that it was actually important for them to make their statement, this country is full of all sorts of types of people, and those men and women are as much a part of our society and the forces that defend us as anyone else and it is right that they take pride in what they do especially when you consider they lay their lives on the line for people who hate what they are.
After initially not wanting to walk as far as Regent Street we ended up walking all the way to the South Bank where we had a yummy lunch in Wagamma before having ice-creams. Thea then headed home and we rushed back to ours to make sure we were back in time for the end of Dr Who. Hurray Cathrine Tate is gone, and David Tennant is still alive....all faith is restored!
Sadly my photo is a bit boring, I got distracted by the match, but it gives you and idea of what it was like!
Well it was a bit of a varied one this time, I wasn't hugely ill which made a really nice change, I said to the taxi driver who took me over that it made such a nice difference to be going in and knowing I wasn't going to be chained to the oxygen when I got there.
My blows on admission were really good, so good in fact I felt quite guilty for being there. The plan was just for a bog standard 10-14 days of IV's. For the first few days I was in one of the private rooms which was really nice and had a sofa, but I knew it wasn't destined to last so I didn't get too comfortable.
The admission was mixed in it's success, my lung function actually went down, and I didn't feel any better by the end of it, however I didn't feel any worse.
I was lucky enough to take part in a clinical trial investigating the effectiveness of muscular physio on correcting the curvature of my spine and generally mobilizing my rib-cage. It was very interesting to take part it as we chatted about all sorts of complementary therapy concepts while we worked. It made me feel a lot better and straighter and the difference in the measurements was shockingly good, all in all a major success. I just really hope that the trial is a success and the secure funding for regular treatments.
Unfortunately my whole system is always under such strain there is no quick-fix, I need constant maintenance, for years I've felt guilty about my posture, but the physio treating me was very supportive and encouraging. She said although obviously there were things I could do to help myself it is just the natural thing for my body to do, breathing comes before good posture in the body's order of priorities, and I have to say it's a wise subconscious decision .She also said it was partly cultural, partly from a sedate lifestyle, but also when we see other people stood in poor positions sadly we are liable to copy them, the body is kind of lazy like that!
Other things of note that happened...
I went home and cuddled my boys and watched Dr Who, which though not earth-shattering was a lovely thing to do. I really enjoyed the fact they were so close as I could nip home and see them and still participate in Edward's care, I got to feed him, bath him and put him to bed a few times. It is also much nicer to be snuggled on the sofa with Luke at home, than cramped on the bed with nurses and tea-ladies and goodness knows who else coming in my room staring at us.
Finally and most excitingly of all my dear friend Raj managed to get us tickets for center court at Wimbledon!!! I ran a bit late getting there thanks to pharmacy who had managed to send my drugs to the wrong ward, however it wasn't too bad and Raj had made himself useful helping out the wardens directing people towards Wimbledon.
We skipped down towards the courts under clear blue skies and on the hottest day of the year so far, by the time we got there the atmosphere was already buzzing, everyone was mincing about in lovely summer dresses, blazers and straw boaters (which Raj pretended to hate, but secretly I think he was jealous)
We mooched about looking at the courts, watching people warming up, and just generally soaking in the atmosphere, I think everyone was on a high from the gripping Murry match that had taken place the night before all secretly hoping they'd be lucky enough to be part of something equally gripping, and of course the streaming sunshine helped.
Eventually it was getting close to time for the match on center court to begin and so we furnished ourselves with Pims and water and took our seats. We each picked a random unpronounceable girl to back. It was a good match, though it went on for a long time, and sadly right at the end poor Raj came over quite faint and we had to go out so he could recover and so we missed the end!
I then did my IV in the medical room (well finished it off) and so missed most of the Serena Williams match, we came back just in time for the end. What I saw was impressive even from the gods where we were sat you could sense what an intense and powerful woman she is, I'd be quite intimidated if I ever had to face her I think.
It was quite surreal to actually be at center court having seen it for so many years on TV. I really missed having the little purple and green BBC graphics to tell me what was going on score wise and almost hallucinated them into place on several occasions. On the upside it was really interesting to see around the edges of the court and spend more time watching the inter-ball girl/boy politics, though in fairness they were terribly impressive and professional, one girl in particular was incredibly sharp, almost robotic in her movements....we think she has a promising career in the armed forces :o)
We then watched the mens doubles which was very different in style and pretty good, the match went on for a shorter length of time than the first womens match which made following it much easier and more interesting. To end we got to see some of the senior mens doubles, which was more of a comedy act than anything else as they took the mickey out of themselves for being so old, it was quite a nice end after the intensity of the earlier matches.
We didn't stay to the end though as we were a bit bored of being sat inside center court by then, so we went for a last wander round the site, had a mooch round the gift shop, and watched the very impressive junior womens doubles finish off their match. We then wandered down to the train station, we debated getting the bus but decided the £2.50 they wanted to charge was a total swizz, I regretted it a little half way up the very long steep hill, but felt smug once I got to the top.
It was a really magical day and something I'd highly recommend to anyone should they ever get the chance....tick 'thing to do before I die - go to Wimbledon' off my long list :o)
Thankyou Raj
I just hate them!! They mean well and they try to help, but overall seem incapable of getting through a thirty minute conversation without saying something either incredibly stupid or incredibly patronizing, usually both at the same time!
Ironically despite my low opinion of their competence I always get very paranoid before they arrive that they may think I'm a terrible mother who isn't coping and that they will try and take my baby away. It's totally unfounded and unlikely to happen but I just can't help worrying so had to spend the morning tidying up and worrying, and secretly being annoyed at Luke for totally unjustified reasons....well apart from that he didn't put the cushion cover back on like I asked him to!!! ( I know the depths of his crimes are quite shocking!!)
The health visitor was actually very sweet, though they almost always are annoyingly, she was very careful to ask lots of questions about how I was coping and checking that I had access to activities and support so that Edward had things to do and so that I wasn't isolated. She gave me some details of a children's center we could go to and suggested that if I felt I needed it I could have someone come round to help out and offer more advice and support on a regular basis. While I'm well I don't feel I need much help as we get along fine, but it's nice to know it's there as from past experience I know how fast it gets hard the second I am unwell. She also suggested a father and baby group she knew of and is going to send me the details, I REALLY can't see Luke going to anything like that as he finds people rather boring however it's good that it's on offer.
We had a bit of chat about the weaning, she wasn't very impressed that I was giving him finger foods as she thought he may choke, obviously you have to be careful but I honestly don't think enough actually goes in for this to be much of a hazard. Overall she seemed to think I should be feeding him more and cutting back his milk, I'm a bit dubious about this as I don't want him to loose weight, and I'd rather take things slowly as we are only about a week in and he's not eating enough variety to cut back, and isn't taking any diary or protein yet, just veggies and fruit. I'm going to continue to stick to the guidelines in the book I got from the library as it seems by far the most sensible thing I've read on the subject.
She then asked to see his red book (this is a thing given to him by the health services to keep records of all his visits to doctors and all his jabs etc.) I laid him on the sofa at the back towards the groove and walked the whole meter across the room to where his book was, only to be told off and that he could roll to his death!! Again obviously you can't leave him laying around especially now he's rolling, but seriously there's no need to get silly and paranoid I'm not going to put my baby in danger for goodness sake...she seemed to think otherwise however and gave me a very informative leaflet about all the terrible dangers in the home such as ovens, glass and plugs...all capable of permanently maiming or killing my child...so all in all a typical health visitor visit.
I spent the rest of the day faffing about, though did finally manage to get the breast pump I hired sent back. I then started feeling really sick and tired, and so went to bed for a nap. It wasn't a particularly good nap as someone was doing some building works or something, upstairs were thumping about and then some woman started having an argument at the top of her voice in the courtyard. Then Luke came in and asked if we were going to the supermarket, I said he could if he wanted and if he did could he get garlic and onions...not long after that I gave up on my nap, and came out to find Luke changing Edward and cursing the reusable nappies bitterly hehe!
I then fed Edward and then cooked our dinner which was really hard to do as I was still feeling really queasy, however it turned out to be well worth it as it was very tasty. Luke thought it was the best pasta bake I've done so far, which though nice of him to say, kind of annoyed me because this was the first time I've used a jar and not just made it up myself. I think next time I try to cook one from scratch I may try using mascarpone as that was in the jar and gave it a nice creamy texture.
Edward and I had a lovely time playing this evening, he was practicing his sitting up and rolling THE CUBE around. I've also been teaching him all week to blow raspberry's and he's coming very close, last night he kept poking out his tongue, I must get a photo of him doing it because his little tongue is so small it's so sweet :o)
I've started making another sling out of the left over fabric, I have all the pieces chopped up and am going to sow it while I'm in hospital. I figured I can hand sow it, give it a try and if it doesn't feel strong enough go over it with a machine next time we visit Greatham.
I really enjoyed giving Edward his last feed of the day, though it did make me quite sad knowing there are so few left to go before I go in and can't do it any more for a while.
Luke and I then went to bed and cuddled and talked for ages, it's always so hard being separated, neither of us really wanted to go to sleep as we both knew it was our last night together for a while. Much as I hate it though, I think it does make us both appreciate each other more and we keep that magic of the simple joy of going to sleep and waking up in each others arms.
I was a little late leaving the house this morning and then managed to get on the wrong bus. I had planned to go to Hyde Park corner and then walk down to Green Park where I was supposed to be meeting my new mummy-chummy Louise. Instead however I ended up getting on a bus to Oxford St. there was a bus from there to Green Park but it didn't look like it was going to arrive soon, and I was already running late and so walked down. It was quite a long way, and some of it was uphill, but I made it there and never saw the bus go past so clearly made the right choice.... go little lungs go!!
We then had a leisurely wander through the park chatting about lots of different baby things, such as births, weaning, dummy's etc. it may not sound very exciting, but I still find it very enjoyable to talk about it with other mummy's and find out what their opinions are. It was really nice as though I think Louise are in some ways quite different people (she's much more sociable and into going out than me) our attitudes to our babies are really similar.
Neither of us are sticklers for routines or any kind of evangelical extremes, though we know when to put our foot down (for example controlled crying) mostly we appreciate that babies are babies and that just going with the flow seems to be the happiest approach for all.
We had a nice tasty lunch, all the waiters and waitress' at the restaurant kept coming out to make a fuss of our babies, though I love the attention and it's nice to have people excited to see Edward and tell me how beautiful he is, I always feel a little bit shy about it and never know quite what to say. Little Amelie loved the attention and was smiling and chatting away. It was so amazing to me to hear her little voice, though she made similar noises to Edward her voice was SO different, I'd never really thought of Edward sounding like a little boy before, but having heard her there is clearly a difference.
After lunch we wandered back up to Trafalgar Square so Louise could get her train home. I was going to get the bus home, but decided while I was out I could go and find some fabric for making a sling for Edward. I went to Liberty, I've never been there before, and I couldn't actually afford anything they sold, but it is the most beautiful shop full of stunning fabrics, clothes, jewelery everything really. There was so much creative talent crammed into their products I left feeling really inspired. If I ever had the money to do a proper interior design project in my home I would defiantly go there. I also plan to take Thea as it is just the kind of gorgeous arty place she would love.
A woman in the haberdashery department gave me directions to some shops nearby that she thought may sell what I was looking for (Liberty is too posh for fleece!) I got a little lost, but I'd actually looked at this part of town on the map before I came out and so had a rough idea of where I was headed and without too much drama found my way to Berwick St. I looked in one store that had a fantastic array of colourful and interesting fabrics, however sadly no fleece. They suggested a different store, that did have some fleece, however having had a chat with the assistant I ended up getting a sort of thick cotton/jersey type fabric in a shockingly tasteful grey/blue which we both agreed would probably be more appropriate.
Thoroughly exhausted I headed home. I fed Edward his dinner (see his blog for piccies). I then made the sling which I'm quite pleased with, however I feel it's a bit big for Edward at the moment and he can't really see out of it that well, unless he dangles out the side of it like a cheeky monkey! I then ate very tasty Korma made by the very tasty Luke :o)
A blurry Edward keeping a VERY tight hold on the sweeties!Saturday was a very quiet day, none of us ever really got going, we just laid about cuddling and sleeping all day...it was gorgeous. We watched 'The Hulk' and I really made Luke giggle because I held Edward's arms up in a sort of body-builder pose and went 'grr' !!
Sunday we were a bit rubbish at getting-going again today, I think a bit of a hang-over from yesterday. We were supposed to be going to Vince's barbeque down in Worthing, however missed the 12 o'clock train, then left to get the 1 o'clock train with what we thought would be plenty of time to spare, however the buses conspired against us and despite trying to get a taxi to Victoria managed to miss that train too! Both now starving we each got a drink and a sandwich and sat and ate those, we then got some sweeties and hula-hoops for the long train journey.
We finally got to Worthing and Mr Vince picked us up from the train station. It was VERY weird to see him driving as though I knew he could I've only ever been with him in London and he never brings his car up here. Lots of his chums were over, and of course the ever gorgeous Lady Karolina. The girlies were very excited to see Edward and all thought he was gorgeous and very big for a six-month old...I think there perception may be rather Chinese based as he's kind of small because of being so premature....however I of course loved showing him off to new people as he is just so gorgeous :o) My cool sexy boys!
We all sat around eating and chilling....as it was very chilly in the wind hehe....and admiring Vince's fantastically well constructed barbecue, it was very enjoyable to be out of the city for a bit with friends in the sunshine. After a bit though we had to head home as we were both falling asleep and didn't want to get back too late.
Luke and I had lots of lovely cuddles that evening and watched a documentary following the story of The Kinky Boot Factory together while I did my physio and waited to be able to give Edward his last feed of the day. I've seen the documentary before and it's very moving, and reminds me of my own parents and their struggles and triumphs with their business. In the TV guide it implied that this was a follow up documentary and so we watched it all the way through hoping to see that the company had gone on to great success in the years since the program was first made. Sadly the TV guide lied... however a bit of googling later and we found that the company are very much alive and well hurrah for eccentric British business!!
Monday I had ambitious plans to go and buy fleece today as I found a pattern for a no-sowing Mei-Tei baby carrier which I plan to make. I would quite like to get a sowing machine so I can make a more advanced carrier, but even on ebay they are just too expensive to justify.
The hospital bed manager (who sounds terribly camp on the phone and makes me smile whenever he calls) called and said that he's going to do his best to get me admitted on Thursday. We had a bit of a joke over how it was SUCH a shame I had multi-resistant bugs as it means I have to have my own room, it's hard I know, and of course I'm much rather be in the bay with all the loud snoring sleep-apnoea patients with their constantly bleeping machines but my pseudomonas and I are just not that sociable haha!! Part of me is looking forward to going in, it's kind of nice to have the time and space to really focus on my lungs, and to have other people do all the hard work and motivation for me, however part of me is worrying about Luke and Edward and how they will possibly cope without me.
I then got distracted into doing the washing, and then going over the budget which is something I've been putting off for days. We have spent FAR too much this month, though most of it has been on bills and relatively essential 'new house' stuff too much of it has been frivolous. To help get our spending under control we are planning to print our budget out and stick in on the fridge as it's too easy to forget about it when it's tucked away in an Excel file. I've also bought a little book to write down everything I spend, this has two advantages 1) I will feel guilty if I have to write in it and so will think more carefully before spending the money in the first place 2) we will be able to see where the money is going, especially from those hole-in-the-wall withdrawals. While I was still feeling good and poor I went to the supermarket and managed to pick up a chicken for just £2 so tasty roast for us all.
Edward has really got into rolling now, however can still only do it one way and so keeps getting stuck on his tummy crying to be rescued and making himself sick!! Poor little monkey! He is also developing quite a hankie fetish, he loves covering his face with them and flapping them around, it's very funny to watch :o)
Luke and Karolina are playing WOW tonight with their cows, and I am watching them and laughing as Karolina keeps getting terribly annoyed and it's very cute!!
Edward shamelessly flirting with Karolina...watch out Vince!
Well it's been another fantabulous day in my sparkly little world.
The morning was relatively chilled, I had LOVELY long cuddles with Luke as Edward was having a lie-in. I then pottered round the house and replied to a few e-mails.
Around one-ish I headed off to clinic where the news was ok. FEV1 was 1.23 or 38%, which was down a tincy bit, FVC was 2.20 or 59% which was up a bit, O2 sats were 95%. Overall I'm steady but I think things are on the brink of a down-turn as the sputum is looking thicker and greener and tasting pretty nasty. I want IV's so I can have a new port-a-cath fitted and still have plenty of time to recover before uni starts in September. It is also not really practical for Luke to find a placement when he knows he's going to have to take two weeks off in the near future to look after Edward, so it's best to wait till it's out of the way. I got put on some orals until they can get me a bed, and then they are going to try and sort out a theater slot to time up with the end of my IV's so I will be nice and well.
When I got home I changed and fed Edward, and then got on with cooking dinner :o) Steak and ale pie tastes better the longer you cook it. Edward came and sat in his bumbo and helped (i.e. chewed his wooden cooking spoon) while I chopped up the meat, I then sent him back into the lounge when I did the onions as I didn't want them to sting his eyes.
I then attempted to make potato cakes again (mainly as an excuse to use my new griddle pan) it was a very messy process that seemed to cover everything, including Luke who only popped his head round the door, in grated potato!
After a while Andy and Chris arrived, I commandeered a wine bottle as an impromptu rolling pin, cooked the veggies and the potato cakes and then dished up. Edward sat at the table so he could watch everyone eating, and I gave him some broccoli to play with. The potato cakes weren't that nice, Chris didn't like them at all, but Andy did, I think overall they still need work, next time I'm going to cook the potato then mash it and then try and fry it. All in all, aside from the dodgy experimental porme de terres dinner was very tasty :o) Everyone appreciated their pastry boobies (Chris had three) however a few nipples fell off along the way!
After dinner, having eaten Atari (as well as boobie) pastry, we decided to get the Mega-Drive out, yes you did read that right and no it's not 1990, we are just SO cool we've gone retro! Luke and Chris had lots of fun playing Golden Axe and then Streets Of Rage, however failed to get anywhere as they spent more time killing each other than the gribblies. While they did that I fed Edward some apple puree, and Andy fixed my wireless after struggling to find any guidance on my laptop, seriously even the company that made it are so embarrassed by it's crapness they don't support it on their site!
We then put in Micro Machines and the extra controllers and all played that, Luke owned everyone with his character who was rather shockingly called Ganja, however sadly just as things were getting intense and I was finally managing to stay on the screen for more than half a second the console crashed and we couldn't resurrect it...boo :o(
Chris's guide to girl hunting ....Find girl....take girl home and show her room of geekyness...if she stays booyah MOTHERLOAD!
(note Edward sleeping in the corner hehe SO cute!)
It was a lovely sunny day thankfully, perfect for our mummy-chummy meet in the park. I spent a bit long faffing and trying to make myself look presentable so left a bit later than I'd planned, as I didn't want to feel rushed and panicky I got a taxi over to the park, a bit of an extravagance considering I'm supposed to be being poor, but it was a special treat!
I walked up to the cafe and there were a couple of ladies sat there with buggies looking suspiciously like they were waiting for people. So I walked up and asked if they knew Charlotte (the lady that had arranged things) and one of them said yes that was her. Hurrah!!
It was a really pleasant afternoon, I think we were all sat chatting for about three hours! We talked about lots of things, all baby related pretty much, we talked about the hospitals where we had our babies, the joys of sterilizing all trying to work out at what point we can get away with not bothering any more haha, and the eternal evils of negotiating public transport.
Although obviously none of it was particularly earth shattering, it was really nice to just chat about these sorts of things with other people who are going through it at pretty much the same time as me, as just by chance all our children are around the same age, just a couple of months apart at most. Although I have some online mummy-chummies and both my mum and Luke's mum have been great it's not really the same, it was really nice to meet other mums, and their babies.
Edward thought it was quite fun too, I think. He had a good look at the other babies, it was quite amusing when I sat him opposite the only little girl that came as she started giggling, he just stared at her looking mildly surprised, while all of us mummies laughed at the pair of them!
After the group broke up I walked back a little way with Charlotte towards her house, and then as it was so sunny and nice I walked the rest of the way home.
Across the rest of the afternoon and evening a few e-mails have been sent out by the girls who came and it seems like everyone had a really good time and the plan is to all get together and do something together again soon.
When I got in Mr Vince was here playing puters with Luke. I changed and fed Edward and had some food, then went for a nap, stupidly I thought it would be nice to take Edward with me and snuggle, however he just wriggled and wittered and was generally a monkey so in the end I rolled over to get away from his kicky legs!!
When I woke up I warmed up the spicy chicken bake for Vince and I which we both ate. I was still hungry after though and so Luke and I were naughty and ordered BAD fried food hehe yummy yummy mozzarella sticks..... lots and lots of creon for me :o)
