The Great British Duck Race

The plan was to go to the duck race with some mummy chummy's however at about 9am this morning they texted me asking if we should cancel due to the peeing rain. I called back and after a bit of debating and motherly worrying about babies in the rain we decided to call it off.

I then flumped about the flat grumpng and plotting as I've had this pencilled into my diary for months, so in the end I decided that rubbish lungs and the great British summer were no match for me and that Edward and I would go and see how far we got!

As we walked out the flat and I realised just how much it was actually raining, and how out of breath I was already I quailed, however determined I told myself it wasn't far to the bus stop, I had a nice full tank of oxygen and the rain would pass soon. Without too much incident and with lots of help from a variety of kind people Edward and I made it to Hampton Court and down to the river bank.

Edward didn't have a rain cover and stupidly I didn't take a hat either, however I think we coped quite well with a hood fashioned out of a hanky and his changing bag pouch. I used his actual changing mat as a seat, you can tell I'm a real mother now, utterly resourceful :o)

Given all my 'umming and ahhing' I really thought we would have missed the 'grand' launch, however luckly we made it in time and actually had a lovely ten minutes sat in the rain waiting for the ducks to be 'unleashed'.....I say 'unleashed' but I really feel that may be a rather melodramatic way of putting things.




There were some audio-speakers near by and some local radio DJ's were commentating and letting people know what was happening. They were rather rubbish, however did their best to try and gee up the soggy crowd of spectators.

Eventually the finally coutdown began and out came the ducks! For a while they didn't seem to move very fast at all, and then they seemed to pick up speed as they got to the bridge. I suspect it may have just been due to perspective as once they were closer it was easier to see that they were actually moving.




It was quite exciting when they got close enough to see properly. Edward and I had a good peer over the edge to see if we could spot our ducks but funnily enough we didn't. Despite that we cheered ours along anyway aswell as my freind Dan's as he'd asked me to. There were definately ducks out in the lead, then the bulk of them following behind herded along by a team of canoeists.

As the ducks went by the weather picked up a little and there was even a little sunshine which was lovely. I wanted to see the end of the race but it wasn't very easy to follow the riverbank and I wasn't confident about being able to get back given how much it had taken just to get to the waterside. I decided it was better to leave early while I still had energy and was still enjoying myself than to push it and end up exhausted and miserable.



We got back to central London safely, again helped by lots of kind people and now I'm chilled out on the sofa looking forward to cuddles and Trigun later with the gorgeous sexy Luke.

It's good to be me :o)

The finest Chocolatier to ever befriend a Spaniard

Today has been one of awesome fun and giggles!

After a terrible nightmare overnight where I never made it to Reading thanks to 'Bianca' from Eastenders and an overdue library DVD I ended up waking up relatively early paranoid it may come true and I may accidentally miss my day out.

I was quite nervous and excited as I haven't really been on a day trip with Edward to see a friend outside of London, so I worried I would forget to pack something. Sometime later and totally over-packed we headed out to Paddington via the post-office to post the faulty rat-trap back to the Amazon.

The train journey wasn't the most pleasant as it was packed with Reading festival goers some of which were rather unaware of their bulging rucksacks. I did however get a seat and spent the journey softly stroking the sleeping Edward's fluffy head.

We pulled into the Ding, it was SO nice to be back, this place has been many things to me over the years, but without fail is somewhere I have a good time, so well after a year of promising myself I was going to go it was really satisfying to finally be here!

We fought our way off the platform past all the be-wellied and be-tented ones and met Mr Chris by the door. We made a b-line for the festival-goer-free part of town and ended up by the canal where there was a small 'beach' that had obviously been set up for the summer. We were very tempted to let Edward to go mad in the sand, but decided that having a sand filled baby for the rest of the afternoon would be unwise, so we just sat and chatted and got given freebies by some girls from Lush :o)

After much debating and much indecisiveness on my part we eventually decided to go to New Orleans or was it Old Orleans? I doubt it's age makes much difference, it had table cloths you could draw on and that sold it to me! We had yummy foods and drew many beautiful pictures of our old characters from the role-play game we used to be in together where he was a Spaniard and I was cat highly skilled in the art of chocolate making....for no reason at all and for one day only Batman joined the party too!

We were tempted to take the table cloth at the end but decided a photo would suffice
I think it is fairly obvious which ones the talented Mr Chris drew and which ones I scrawled!

After main lunch we headed over to Krispy Kreme for pudding. I have seen these shops with increasing frequency and have heard many people rave about them. I must admit they were most tasty, by far the best doughnut I've had in years, and not too overpriced especially in comparison to any cakes from somewhere like Starbucks.

We then went to John Lewis to buy me some wool as my knitting needles arrived this morning. I am planning to join a knitting group so keep you eyes peeled for that forthcoming adventure. Afterwards and clearly in need of more wool, two balls not being enough for someone who can't actually knit, we decided to brave the ever so slightly creepy family run department store where they still write receipts by hand and send money round the building through weird vacuum powered tubes. It turned out to be much more affordable that John Lewis and is where all my future wool purchases shall be made...Mr Chris can't wait ;o)

It was actually a lot more sunny than this photo indicates...
....hurrah for over packing though as it meant we had a blanket

We then decided to go up to the park and sit in the sunshine, which is what we did indeed do, and where we spent the rest of the afternoon chilling, chatting and trying to persuade Edward that leaves and Mr Chris's shoes did not constitute good food....I don't know you feed a baby one chip and a crumb of doughnut and they go junk-food craaaaaaaaazy!!

Everybody has a fetish for Mr Chris' shoes it would seem!

It was finally time for Edward and I to head home and for Mr Chris to wander off to band practice, he walked us up to the station and we managed to get almost straight on a train, but not before I accidentally blasted poor Edward in the face with the hand dryer in the loo...ooops!! Quite funny though mwhaha!

All in all and utterly fantastic day and now I know how close it is, and how easy it is to get there, I'm sure I will once again become a regular visitor to the glorious glorious land of the Ding.

Unforgiveable Apathy

I've been SO lazy today, and I haven't really even felt guilty about it, I just cannot be bothered to do anything even though there is plenty that needs doing round the house.


Apart from looking after Edward and myself today I have done almost nothing other than vegetate on-line and in-front of the TV. In the morning I did speak to a journalist on the phone, she appealed for people with baby stories on my birth-club and I put us forward as I thought we'd make a good story and I know that the magazines can pay quite well, I'm also hoping we may get a nice family photo-shoot out of it.


Mostly I think I'm recovering from yesterday and preparing myself for tomorrow's trip to Reading to see Mr Chris.... I shall leave you now with many beautiful photos of my gorgeous gorgeous boys, I have probably put too many similar ones up, but they are just so heart-warming I can't choose between them :o)

Edward casting magic spells....we suspect 'summon milk'

I'm telling you Daddy that IS the way it's cast!

Oh Daddy you're so funny!!

BUNDLE!!!

Munchausen by Internet

It is a sad day today in the American CF community, and the CF community as a whole. There has been a blog running about a girl called Pepe who supposedly had CF and went through a transplant, the person has been exposed as a fake, or probably more acurately someone suffering from Munchausen by Internet.

I was not an avid reader of the blog, I don't know why but I just never got around to checking it regularly, however it did have quite an audience of people who were hoping and praying for Pepe and who were utterly emotionally, and in some cases financially, involved in the story.

It has annoyed and upset me, despite my lack of personal involvement, on principle. Although I wasn't involved in her story there have been others who's story I have become involved with such as Emily's and Oli's, I can't imagine how utterly betrayed I would have felt had either of their blogs turned out to be hoaxes. There have been some very low points in the last few years where literally the only thing that has got me through to the end of the day has been a little voice in my head saying 'If Emily and Oli could do this, worse than this, then you can too!'.

It is a disgusting manipulation of the emotions and trust of the CF and transplant community, a community that is made of vulnerable people.

Almost more scary however has been the way sections of the community has reacted, someone has set up a blog literally, and very successfully, stalking this person and every website they have ever contributed to, many have made violent threats. I understand the anger, but at the same time it is just the internet, you can just never truly know unless you KNOW that person in real life, it never ceases to amaze me how het up people can get over someone they don't know!

It has served as a reminder to me just exactly what the internet is made up of. I am always telling friends off for posting details that link them to a specific place or taking part in those stupid 'what's your porn name' things that are just designed to get personal information out of you. Even today I have been sat here thinking back over all my posts and trying to work out if at any point I've given too much information away about where we live and what are lives are like.

I guess that is the problem with a blog, you want people to see it and read about you, but at the same time you don't really want people to know anything too personal. My friend Adam and I actually discussed my blog and he commented on how different it is in style to my old one which was much more emotional and detailed. I admit that even I at times look at this blog with a certain level of dislike, it's a very 'happy clappy this is what I did today' kind of affair, there is very little in depth analysis of how I actually feel and what I think about things, but then I think I have become more aware of my potential audience

This a totally public forum after all, any future employer or client of mine could read it and I'm not sure I really want them to know all the dark emotional wrangling that goes on in my little mind, nor do people I know read this really want to know the gory details of what Luke and I do with chocolate buttons of a nighttime ;o)

I don't want to be at risk, I don't want my family to be at risk, yet at the same time I like having a blog, I even stated it as one of my hobbys on my birthclub, and heaven knows I have few hobbys as they are hard things to maintain when you are unwell and have no energy all the time. I guess you just have to be careful.

I find it amazing how involved strangers do become (and I write this like I'm not one of them haha!) but when you read these blogs you really do begin to feel like you KNOW the people involved and begin to share their hopes and ambitions with them, and cry and worry at their troubles. On some levels it scares me, and on other levels I think it is actually the true power of blogging, the way it gives people a platform to speak and an audience to listen, an audience to care, I think it brings out the best of the human spirit, and demonstrates far better than any myspacefacebook can what true social networking is about, it's not some empty list of 'friends' it is about connecting, and about caring, you give up something of yourself and in return you get something back.


So back to normal happy clappy scheduling we go...

Thursday - was a day of rest, I laid about the house and did nothing but snuggle with my boys adn watch DVD's in order to recover from the excitement caused by the mices and ballerinas.

I watched 'The Last King of Scotland' it is VERY good, though very sad as basically it's happening all over again as we speak in Zimbabwae and yet again to my shame it is us English who had a major hand in putting a madman in charge.

However I am also angry with the people of Africa as I whole, why don't they get their shit together and sort themselves out?? They could be a rich nation they have lots of valuable natural resources and a lot of manpower, if they just stopped bickering and squandering it all on corruption and guns and stopped shilly-shallying about waiting for someone else to sort it out they would all be a lot better off!! That said if I had a bunch of guys in a jeep with massive guns riding through my village shooting and raping everything in site I don't suppose I would be that keen to make a stand and make a change either. Sad world.

I thought the most clever thing about the whole film however was how little it showed of the ongoing genocide, despite the fact the characters were right at the centre of it. It demonstrated exactly how these atrocities happen and continue to happen, because those who could do something choose to bury their heads in the sand because they personally have something to gain from doing so.

And if all that heavy political stuff doesn't do it for you it also has lots of shots of James MacAvoy's bottom in it :o)

Friday - I meant to take Edward swimming but his skin was so bad I thought it unwise as I didn't want to aggravate it. So I spent the morning supervising Edward's nappy-free time whilst watching 'No Country For Old Men'. It was a good film, though I think it thought it was more intelligent than it actually was, I felt the serial killer was a silly character who spoilt the film and they just used him as a device to say certain things, but as he was so melodramatic and cliché they'd have been better off leaving him out, Tommy Lee Jones however was utterly fantastic.

I then took that and the other DVD as well as some books back to the library as they were only on short loan. I left Edward in his daddy's capable hands as I couldn't be bothered with heaving him on and off the bus!

I wandered back slowly via some shops where I got some nice candle/sauce dishes and then the pharmacy. Luke cooked us dinner we had tasty chicken kari...he's branching out :o)

Saturday - I had a lovely long sleep from 11pm last night till 8.30 this morning!! It was truly blissful :o) I think the sleepies must have stayed with me as I really haven't done much all day expect faff about on-line. I planned to go and get maple syrup so I could do American pancakes which I have been craving lately but in the end lazed out and just made Luke a plain bacon sandwich.

In the afternoon/evening I made roast beef, Edward particularly liked the Yorkshire puddings :o)

After Luke finishes raiding with his WHOLE guild (very exciting stuff I can tell you!) we are going to watch some more Trigun which is turning out to be rather good, it really makes me want to roleplay though as the structure of the episodes feels so much like an RPG plot, it really makes me laugh as alot of the time the animation of the lead character is naff......but whenever he is saying something profound or trying to chat up a girl they sex him up manga styleeee!!

Mices and Ballerinas

We have mice...there have been rumours that we had them for some time, but last night they made their most ambitious move and came out of hiding and scampered back and forth across the lounge and then I went in the kitchen and there was another one of the little cretins, he may have run off the counter and behind the dishwasher at speed, but not speedily enough, I saw him!!

This morning I ordered wire wool, the pest control recommended hole blocking device and an all signing all dancing all electrocuting vermin trap! I did consider getting a good old fashioned spring loaded one, but I figured this is central London and that mouse was a porker so he's not going to fall for that and it was best to just get a good trap to start with, and this seemed to be highly recommended on Amazon by lots of people with mice that had outwitted simpler traps.

It is amusing but there is something about rats and mice in the house that brings out the animal in you and makes you go all primal. Luke last night was stalking the house like a true man with a club, while I may or may not have squealed like a big fat girl every time they ran out of their hiding places. I feel I am quite traumatized by childhood images from 'The Lady and the Tramp' where the rat attacks the baby, complete with the hysterical shrieking granny, if you haven't memorized said film see the relevant scene in this YouTube clip about 4 minutes in. I will NOT have nasty mice nibbling my Edward!! This morning WAR was declared and I am going to win mwhahahaha!!! Your days are numbered little mices!!

Having plotted my warfare suitably I then took Edward to the library to the song and games session I have been meaning to take him to for over a month. We got there to find it was a special session and they had guests in from The Royal Ballet, namely a ballerina and a flute player. It was really good fun there was lots of movement, and a story, and then more moving and dancing about as we, *cough* the children acted out bits of the book. Bouncing Edward about and waving his arms and all the general prancing got quite tiring after a while though, and some of it I couldn't really work out a way to include him, so towards the end we just sat and watched. He really enjoyed it though he was quite tired by the end. I found it most amusing to watch all the little girls go green with envy as they watch the professional ballerina do lots or graceful ballerina moves, and smiled as they all tried their very hardest to copy her.

After getting out a few books for Edward we went to the grown-up library took a book back, and got out a few books, DVD's and an X-box game called Timeshift I quite liked the look of, Luke was SO impressed with me when he saw it :o)

After that we went to the doctors and dropped off my prescription, then Boots to get baby rice, Edward helpfully nibbled the box while we waited in the queue, and finally to the supermarket to do the weekly shop, Luke came down and met us there as I needed his manly strength to carry all the heavy shopping.

When I got in I was tired, but not exhausted, it's amazing what a few good nights sleep will do for a girl!

In the evening I puréed some apple for Edward. For Luke and I, I did gammon, for myself I made broccoli and courgette in cheese sauce. It didn't work terrible well as the roué went lumpy, sadly my quick browse of the internet yielded the most rubbish recipe of all time, I'm certain that next time it will be better.

On the weight issue, I weighed myself and I don't weigh as little as I thought which is good news, on our scales I came in at 49kg, not great but not as bad as I had thought. I did my feed last night, it alarmed many times throughout the night waking me up, and at 3am I actually had to sit up, switch the light on and fiddle with the drip chamber to get it working again argh!!!

Sunday Lunch and TOOTHIE-PEGS!

It's been a quiet few days since the butterfly trip, we did mean to go and see a Chinese Theatre production in Trafalgar Square but got up too late in the end!

I have to say it will be REALLY nice to put Edward back in his own room tomorrow once Uncle Fred has gone home. He's a gorgeous baby but I've been sleeping in the same room or bed as him for over a week now and he's been in our room quite a lot before that as we've had various people staying over, I think we just unsettle each other, my coughing wakes him and his shuffling and grunting wakes me!! This morning I actually evicted him, cot and all, from our room as I desperately needed more sleep!

Today we had my old friends Gosia and Bartek over for Sunday lunch. We had roast porky-workies and the crackling worked really well which I was very pleased about. We mostly just caught up on what each of us has been doing as we haven't seen each other for a few months.

By far the most exciting thing to have happened is that Edward has finally cut his first little tooth! It explains why he's been so grumbly and horrible recently, I just hope we get a bit of a break before the next one comes through as it's not nice to have him so unsettled all the time as he obviously isn't happy.

Butterflies and Cake

Today has been a lovely day. After a lazy start my Mummy Chummy Shaune and her son Xander picked Edward and I up and we drove across town to the Natural History Museum.

When we got there, there were signs saying 'buggy park' and we got worried we'd have to carry the boys round, but hoped we wouldn't have to as both of them are quite chunky now. However when we bought our tickets it became clear we did have to carry them, we hesitated a little but decided that we should do it anyway as we'd planned this all week, and I've actually been wanting to go to see this for ages.

There was a maze thing where you could get a card stamped at all the different sections, however the boys were too young for it and we were too old! We both agreed it would have been really fun if they'd just been a bit older. At the end of the maze was the butterfly house.

We went through and were immediately hit by the heat and humidity, all four of us instantly started sweating which was a bit of a worry with the babies. They both instantly spotted the butterflies and both were totally entranced watching them fluttering around and eating from the flowers and settling on the leaves. They were really beautiful, all such vivid colours, some of them were so large though they were a bit unnerving.

We walked round slowly letting both of the babies have a good look at everything, whilst also of course having a good look ourselves. We had a bit of a perch on the bench as our arms were killing us by that point and took some photos, both of us agreed we don't have enough photos of us with our babies, nor do either of us have many 'family photos' so it was nice to take a couple, it was a shame we didn't have the buggies or it would have been a bit easier, and we would have been able to take some of the butterflies too, but never mind.

When we came out it was such a relief, though previously it had felt muggy, in comparison to the hot butterfly house it felt positively fresh!

We then walked down to the gorgeous cakie shop :o) It does the most magical tasty fairy-tale cakes covered in ridiculous amounts of colourful icing and sprinkles in all the world!! I finally got to try their red-velvet cake, I had bought one before along with a pink cake one time when I was in the Brompton, though I gave the red-velvet cake to my friend Sam who had been stuck in for ages and needed cheering up.

We chatted and ate our cakes, and when we finished we headed back to the car as Xander was starting to get hungry, poor thing he's also teething quite badly so wasn't a very happy chap.

In the car on the drive home Xander was crying and it frightened Edward and made him cry, it was so funny as they kept setting each other off. Shaune and I decided we would be like those horrible mothers that make you play with a child you don't like just because the mums are friends!!

All in all a lovely day out and I'm really pleased that I've managed to do a 'baby thing' as I've been a bit rubbish recently at getting up and out and making myself do things....you never know we may make it to the swimming pool tomorrow!

A VERY English Country Wedding

Edward looking SO impressed with the whole camping gig!!

This was as much a weekend away with my family as it was a trip to Fleur's wedding, our only chance this summer to all spend time together in the glorious Crossland caravan.

Edward-Tedward and I headed over late morning, the trip wasn't too eventful and thankfully we managed to get on a fast train, though annoyingly it had really narrow doorways so there was a rather messy shoving moment as I rammed Edward onto the train!

Alex then picked us up and we headed to TESCO's to get food and nappies for Edward as they had been to heavy and bulky to bring with us. We then headed out to Mothercare and Next. Mothercare had sadly shut down though actually it turned out to be a good thing as Mummy had already bought the cot I meant to buy and just forgotten about it! We went into Next to get Alex a tie, and found a nice grey one with purple stripes that went with his shirt, the customer service was appalling though and what few staff there were there were all half asleep and so it took about three hours to get through the till!

We then headed home where Daddy was already waiting for us. We chilled for a bit killing time before Mummy was due to finish work, we then shoved the last few things in the Landrover and headed over, we got a call from Mummy just as we were leaving to say the person she was caring for had just had a fit and so she would be late. Actually as it worked out we didn't have to wait for her for too long, and I don't think it made much of a difference to the traffic which was relatively clear all the way, well at least I think it was I was actually asleep most of the journey, despite having major chest pains that I thought were going to land me in hospital :o(

When we got to the site I waved rather feebly out of the car at people before hiding in the bed with Edward and going to sleep, Grandmummy did all his bits for me as I was feeling too weak and in too much pain. That night I had a really high temperature but mostly slept through it, and Edward was relatively good and settled though did wake up quite early.

The day of the wedding we woke early and had a bit of breakfast, there was lots of rushing too and fro, and grumping from most parties. Edward and I kept a low profile and Alex straightened my hair while I did my neb. Eventually it was time to go and we all set off to the church where there were quite a few people already there. I thought we were all going in and so went on ahead in to the church itself (which was very small and sweet and beautiful) One of Simon's family greeted Edward and I as we entered and grinning at Edward said 'ooo I do hope he causes a ruckuss!' I foolishly assured him Edward would be good and hopefully not cause too much noise, though admitted I was under instruction from Fleur to pinch him so he'd cry as she wanted a traditional crying baby!


From almost the moment we sat down Edward started to agitate, I fed him milk, I gave him food I gave him cuddles, I sang him songs, but none of it made any difference he just fussed and moaned and threatened to cry the whole time. My hat kept falling over my eyes and my hair was so long it kept getting it the way!! All in all a bit of a quiet nightmare was going on in our little corner as the ceremony went on thankfully blissfully unaware. I did manage to see most of the important bits and it was truly lovely, however I feel I am now truly a mummy as I have experienced the 'baby at wedding' scenario, for those of you not 'in the know' it mostly involves singing '10 Little Ducks' to your little bundle of joy whilst your child-hood friend swears the most important vow of her life!!! Kind of surreal, but somehow quite fitting :o)

After the ceremony we headed back to the farm and had some drinks and nibbles on the lawn and set up Edward's new cot/tent so he could have a nap, as he was clearly utterly over tired. Finally after lots of grizzling he fell asleep. I could have quite easily joined him, but instead made do with just watching all the people chatting and all the dogs (who were beautifully dressed up for the occasion) frolick around the croquet lawn!

After a while, and conveniently just as Edward woke up it was time for lunch, so we all headed down to the barn which was beautifully decorated. I must admit my photos of the wedding are a bit non-existent as I was stressing over Edward, however I did take this one, which in many ways I think actually sums it all up rather well...


The dinner was a very scrummy hog-roast the odd off-cuts of which got pilfered and enjoyed thoroughly by the many maurading pooches! I sat with Alex, Edward and Daddy up at the back and we got chatting to some of Fleur's friends from Thailand and America. It was really nice to meet them as Fleur has been away growing up with them all, all these years, it fitted a few pieces into the jigsaw of who she is now for me.

The blushing bride herself :o)

Edward got cuddled by lots of people and stolen by Aunty Shellie and fed Cheesecake, which I think may be slightly better than when he got stolen by Uncle Alex whom I snapped with a very suspicious looking beer bottle!




All in all a very lovely afternoon, though by the end of it I was shattered and so headed off to do my drugs and have a lay down, I also thought Edward needed a bit of peace as he was starting to get a little fractious again despite being clean and fed. Once back at the caravan Edward went to sleep for the night, and after sorting out his bottles for the morning I joined him.

The next morning we all had a nice family breakfast together chatting and laughing which was fun. The whole atmosphere was much more relaxed now the wedding was over and there wasn't a risk of us missing it! Alex helped Shellie and Simon clear up the barn though as I wasn't going to be much help I stayed at the caravan. We then all headed off in a cavalcade to a local pub for a lunch arranged by Fleur and Simon for people who'd come a particularly long way. It was a really tasty affair, Edward had some vegetables whilst sat in a big boy high-chair that we tied him to using Fleur's shawl!


After that we went off to get some petrol for the generator, and picked up a few bits that had been requested and for breakfast the next morning. We dropped them off at the house and then spent the rest of the afternoon together in the caravan chatting before getting an early night. Though looking at this photo of Edward it seems he had a rather more wild time than the rest of us...trail of clothes...empty milk bottle....discarded wine glass!!! Shocking !!!


The next morning we again had tasty breakfast, then packed everything up and got ready to head home. We popped up to the house to say our goodbyes, and so I could have a nose around Fleur and Simon's tiny cute little fairy-tale house, as I took a moment to peek out of the window however I was stabbed in the foot by a hideous wasp/hornet who stung me so badly he actually drew blood!! Up to that point I'd been feeling so smug about not having been stung, especially as Shellie had been stung on the bottom three times, and Fleur's Simon had, had to go to A&E having swallowed a wasp...clearly I was not meant to leave there without one though!

The drive home was uneventful but painful due to my injury. Once home I had a nap with Edward, Daddy watched the Grand Prix, Alex went to work and poor old Mummy scrubbed out the caravan. Once Alex came home he took me to get a burger as I had terrible cravings for one, then we watched Scrapheap Drag Racing before all getting a reasonably early night.

This morning I got woken up early again by his Lordship whom I dutifully cleaned and fed, I then packed up our stuff as I wasn't sure if we were going in early with Daddy to the office. Actually in the end he went in with Alex and so I got a chance to have a bit of a lay down before Mummy and I had to go into Bedford.

I went to my solicitors and got the final bits of my divorce papers settled.... about two years after having actually got divorced! Then we picked up Daddy and got the train to London. We parted ways at St. Pancras as they were off to Battersea to see an orphaned Black Russian called Carmen. I headed home and fell into bed and have barely been out of it since....all in all a long weekend full of oak trees, sunshine and family :o)

Shopping and Pie

It's been a rather busy couple of days here at the ranch.

Yesterday I went off in search of flexible ice-cube trays for putting puree in as it is not proving practical using pots as I don't have enough of them nor a big enough freezer to be able to do the kind of variety I want. I also decided that I wanted to get some individual pie bowls as I thought my steak and ale pie would work better if it was made in a bowl rather than being just meat on a plate with a piece of pastry placed on-top.

I headed out to Oxford St. and left Edward behind as it's easier without him. I went in a few shops comparing prices and availability before getting the ice cube trays from House of Frasier and then a rolling pin, potato masher and pie-bowls from John Lewis where I was helped by a rather crazy shop assistant who spent about fifteen minutes telling me all about her Swarovski Crystal animal collection... quite how she managed to get from 'Where are the ice-cube trays?' to that remains beyond me!


I then headed home via la supermarche where I got the ingredients though I had to phone Luke and get him to come and carry it home as it was too heavy as I bought lots of heavy vegetables!

When I got in I started the cooking as Steak and Ale pie has to cook for hours in order to be any good, it was quite exciting as this time not only did I have my fantastic new bowls but I was also using a new type of ale, specifically BADGER Ale!!!


Anyone who knows me knows I have something of a mild on-running love of badgers, I think it began with my Sylvania's and was cemented during the days I played a character called Gem who owned a war badger rather fittingly called Baddie who in one particular fight managed to kill a guard single handedly by biting him in the nuts!

Not long into the cooking Aaron arrived, followed a while later by Chris and Andy. It was lovely to see them as they haven't been over since our last pie night, personally I would have cooked something different but I was overwhelmed with demands for pie that I could not refuse.

We had actually been trying to arrange this dinner for a while but given a variety of factors we kept having to cancel until it got to the point that Andy was having 'Homer in the land of Chocolate' style dreams of pie, and Chris was becoming concerned that Andy may actually mistake him for a piece of ale dripped steak and eat him in the night!

We all sat down to eat (minus Aaron who had to go and pick up some stuff) and we ate lots and it was tasty and we had fairy cakes for puddings for which Luke made some very questionable looking icing that not too surprisingly only he and I ate. The boys all then played Call of Duty 4 together (which they had been doing before dinner too) until it was time for Chris and Andy to go home to bed as it was a school night. All in all very good fun!!

The rest of the evening wasn't so great as Edward was unwell and crying, we had to have him in the bed with us in the end and it took him a long time to settle and he woke frequently in the night. However come the morning he'd cheered up and was clearly feeling better and so I took him out with me, I also wanted to give Luke a chance to sleep as he did most of the night-care.

Today I had lots to do that involved running around town quite a bit. Firstly I had to go to the Library which is over by Paddington, I then had get my Freedom Pass done which also involved getting passport photos though thankfully there was a machine there though it cost £4.20!!

After that Edfart and I headed to Camden as I wanted to get a video I have, of a very old version of 'The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe' that Fleur, Shellie and I used to watch as kids transferred to DVD as a wedding present for Fleur, however sadly in the month or so since I was last there the shop has closed ARGH!!! Serves me right for not being more organised and getting it done sooner, though thankfully later Luke managed to find it on Amazon hurrah!

I then headed to Oxford St. as I realised that I didn't really have a bag that I could use this weekend that is a) big enough and b) able to sling over Edward's buggy. So lots of mooching and shopping and a spot of lunch later I came home with a FANTASTIC huge zebra bag, lots of clothes for Luke some new bedding (as I'm bored of what we have) some shoes to go with my dress for the wedding and a belt...hurrah for Primark :o)

This evening has been pretty laid back, I spent a few hours making a card for Fleur as I decided it would be gorgeous to do a tree with paper leaves all individually sewn on, it is pretty, but not something that could ever go into mass production I don't think haha!

Edward started feeling unwell again late in the evening and we had some more tears and lots of snot, so I've given him lots of cuddles and milk and hope that tonight he makes it through the night in his own bed and that he feels a lot better tomorrow.

Obviously things will be quiet the next few days, but I shall return with pictures of the wedding and lots of lovely stories I'm sure :o)

Greatham Family Picnic!

Thursday afternoon I made two different types of Thai marinade one I'd used before and one I found as a video recipe on a fantastic site called video-jug.

Friday morning before going out with Fleur and Shellie shopping I made some cakes ready for the picnic, I made cherry and coconut cakes and plain fairy cakes, I had wanted to make them butterfly cakes but I realized it wasn't practical to transport them that way. Friday afternoon I made Mexican Pastillos which are a sort of biscuit served at traditional Mexican weddings, we weren't really celebrating a wedding of any kind but it's a recipe I've wanted to try out for ages and so this was a good opportunity, they were quite nice but not what I'd been hoping for.

Late Friday after the worst of the pollen had settled we headed down to Greatham and arrived to find everyone sat out on the benches chatting and eating, we of course sat down and joined in. It was particulalrly lovely to spend time staring at the stars spotting shooters and lost satellites, i do miss that under the orange glow of London Town.

Saturday we got woken early by Fred trampling about the house excitedly however managed to get back to sleep and have a pretty good lie in as Edward was tired out from all his adventures the day before. I then went downstairs to find it full of people preparing food and so got going on my marinades, which didn't take too long as it mostly just involved smothering the meat in them and shoving it in the oven for a guess period of cooking time!


Luke had taken Edward out into the garden on his playmat, I went and sat out with him for a little while and Luke helped manhandle things like benches down to the picnic area. I then had to go and do my nebs and physio. By the time I'd finished that it was about kicking off time for the picnic hurrah!!

Food glorious food!!

Everyone had made really tasty things, someone in particular had made an exceptionally nice rice which I ate lots of, even little Edward joined in and had some pitta bread and tennis balls!



This was the first time Edward had met most of the family and it was really lovely how many people came over to admire him and congratulate us, I don't know if Luke really took it in as he is paranoid they all look down on him, but they all seemed sincere to me and genuinely pleased to welcome a new little member into the family. Edward of course lapped up the attention especially when it came from Harriet who is his favourite girlfriend!


There was a tennis tournament organised by Camilla which lots of people took part in including Fred and Luke, neither of them did well but they both had fun, though afterwards Luke felt utterly awful and had to go and lay down for most of the rest of the afternoon. The combination of the overdose of hayfever meds, tennis and heat got the better of him :o(



The picnic went on all afternoon though Edward and I had a bit of a nap up at the house half way through as it was all a bit much!

That evening was again lovely and chilled out, and I got to do lots of tidying in the kitchen which made me feel better as I'd felt guilty for skipping off earlier after having just done my bit, not that I could have done much if I'd stayed as there were so many people milling about.

Sunday morning Edward and I spent some time down at the pool with Thea, Harriet and Shambala though not too long as Luke decided it was best to head home as he was still feeling really bad and it was rubbish sitting inside sleeping while everyone else was outside. Although I would have liked to sunbathe a bit more I didn't mind too much as I know the instinct to 'crawl home when feeling crap' all too well.

It was a gorgeous sun-soaked weekend and I can't wait for our long stay later in the summer, I just hope it's as sunny so that Thea and I can catch some rays with the little sun-worshiping baby of gorgeousness :o)

A Lovely Family Day

Well as the title suggests today has been a really lovely family day, it started out with us all having cuddles in the bed this morning which we haven't done much since we moved, that was really fun and lovely though sadly I missed getting a photo of Luke and Edward playing as they looked SO cute together.

After yummy lunch of chicken pie and rice pudding for Edward, and bacon sandwiches and mushrooms for the parents we decided to be brave and risk going to the park, somewhere we tend to avoid due to Luke's horrid evil hay-fever. I think we were out for about half an hour, we mooched down to the Serpentine and had ice-creams than mooched back via the post-box so I could post my letter for 'my' Postpal. Luke was very itchy and it wasn't entirely pleasant for him but I was really grateful that he made such an effort for us all and even he agreed that a short walk like that was bearable. It makes me so sad it has to be like that and that it can't just be a totally enjoyable experience but it is better than nothing and I'm very grateful to him :o)

I then had to go to the dentist, she took some x-rays and wanted to do a filling. I'm terrible when it comes to brushing my teeth, I don't know why but I really really hate it with a passion and always have, so it is no surprise I need work done, I'm trying to be sensible and take advantage of my maternity certificate before it runs out so I can get it done free! However I was really frightened I tried to stay calm and do deep breaths but I was still panicky. In the end she decided it was best to refer me to have it done under sedation at the hospital, she said if I was a normal patient she would have carried on but due to my steroids she was worried that I may go into some sort of hypoglycemic shock, I felt so guilty and pathetic and like I'd wasted her time but she was very nice about it. I also think she was worried about me passing out and not knowing how to deal with me and the forms she'd have to fill in if she had to call an ambulance and so decided to er on the side of caution, as it means I get out of having it done for a while longer I'm not complaining!

Edward has been a pretty good boy overall today, much more settled than yesterday, though he has got into the habit of making a very annoying moaning noise, he has also taken to doing fake coughs which are really quite funny especially as he often smiles and looks terribly pleased with himself after he's done one...obviously been watching me at physio time a little too closely :o)

You can just make out Edward's little butterfly that his friend Abi sent him in this one!

Postpals

I've had a rather flat week, after coming home from Bertie sitting I felt pretty rough for most of the week and the weather wasn't that great either so I didn't feel very inspired to go out and do anything. I was kind of annoyed with myself about that as before my admission I'd done so well at finding activities to go and do as well as making friends with my various mummy-chummys.

I think part of the problem was me worrying about university, I had spoken to my tutor about it and she had given me the time-table. After my initial cockiness that I would be fine to go back full time I suddenly came to the rather crushing realization there is just no way I am capable of that. Also seeing the amount of hours Edward would have to spend at nursery written down in black and white made me accept finally that it is not what I want for him. Though I don't want my life to go on hold and get stuck as a stay-at-home-mum I also don't want Edward in nursery from 8.30-6.30 at least three days a week it's just not fair on him. If he was a bit more mobile and capable of occupying himself I wouldn't mind, but at the moment he is just a bit too vulnerable, though I know it works for some people and I'm sure the nursery will take good care of him, that is just a bit too much.

All that said it still really got me down as it made me feel pretty feeble and the prospect of my degree going on for another four years is not one I relish. However rather than moping about I was proactive and booked a meeting with a student adviser. What we hadn't previously realized is that Luke is still entitled to a full student loan and childcare allowance for this year, we thought because he was re-sitting modules from his 2nd year he'd get nothing. It has totally changed the situation as it now means we can afford for me to go part time. We are going to use Luke's loan to pay for my fees and his childcare will cover Edward for the few hours that both of us are at university which hopefully won't be too many in a week. That really cheered me up, but I'm still quite panicky about whether I'm going to cope or not, a worry that has been amplified by the fact I've had to have naps during the day most days in the last week, I'm sure once I'm there I will be fine especially now we've found a way for me to go part time.

Despite that good news today has been a really quite rubbish day, I've been asleep almost as much as Edward and when I have been awake I've been really bored but not really had enough energy to do much about it except trawl through BBC i-player which is my new favorite toy!

Then in the evening I was doing my usual peek through the blogs I follow regularly and on little William's blog his mum mentioned that he had been given a Chemo duck by a charity called Postpals as well as attending a party arranged by them. The duck has undergone various surgeries so that he has the same sorts of tubes and implants as William which I think is a fantastic idea.

Postpals main aim though is to get people to write letters and send little presents to children who are stuck in hospital a lot and having to put up with tons of treatments and generally feeling rubbish, and in a really fantastic move the charity have also set out to support the siblings of the poorly children to make sure they get some attention too which I think is ever so important as far too often they get forgotten about when in some ways it is almost probably harder for them having to watch their brother or sister being ill all the time and having to deal with the worry and lack of attention, I don't think it should ever be underestimated how hard this can be.

I also know how isolating being unwell can be, it's hard to get out and do things and see people, and often you don't really even feel like seeing people as it takes too much energy. I really understood how much these letters could mean to all these people stuck in smelly hospital as I know just how they feel and know how much it can really make your day, or even your week actually just to get one letter or one visit. My darling friend Raj is always excellent at visiting me in hospital and often brings me little things such as muffins or white peaches, and even though they are just little things the thought behind them always touches me so much and I really savour eating them because they are all the more special :o)

It took me a long time to pick who to write to as I could have happily written to all the people on there all their siblings and all their parents. However in the end I chose a girl called Laura as she reminded me that there is always someone in a worse situation than me and that I shouldn't mope about feeling sorry for myself! I wrote a long letter that kept me occupied for ages, I told her a little about Chinese Medicine Theory regarding the role of Kidneys in the body as I thought she may find it interesting I enjoyed thinking about it and even got out my old notes to make sure I got the details right. I hope she likes it and isn't just bored by my inane waffle she sounds like a really awesome young lady :o)

I really urge everyone to go to the Postpals site, choose a person and write a letter or send a card, it won't take much time or cost much money and could put a smile on a very brave little persons face so give it a go :o)

Most of this week Luke and I have sat down together and watched a few episodes of House last thing at night. It is really excellent even if the plot structure is a little predictable. It is actually part of the reason we named Edward what we did as we watched so much of it while I was pregnant and both thought it was so awesome. We liked the name Hugh, which led to us thinking Hugh Laurie, which led to Laurence which is Edward's middle name, it was also one of the names suggested by the highly fantastic Great Aunty Mellie.

The pregnancy and birth coupled with all the long admissions and me feeling tired and grumpy has put something of a strain on our relationship, not in a disastrous way, but enough that we need to put a little more work and effort in on each other, something that is too easy to miss out between all the Edward-fussing and physio. These late night evenings have done a lot to make us feel closer it's been really lovely.

We are planning to go to Salsa classes together, I've looked some up, they sound a bit intimidating but I just have to tell myself that half the people there will be just as rubbish as me, and that no one is going to be laughing at me more than I'm going to be laughing at myself. It looks good fun and pretty sexy and would be a really nice grown-up thing for Luke and I to do together, I also think it will be a good confidence booster which is a major bonus for Luke :o)

In other news Edward was seven months old today!!!!

Bertie-dogsitting and Grand Reunions

This weekend most of the Crossland's went to Berlin as our gorgeous friend Diana was having a big party in a castle. We couldn't really afford to go and so I offered to dog-sit as poor little Bertie is very unwell at the moment and not able to go to kennels.

He has a mix of complex conditions I don't really understand and is on a lot of complex medications including one that has to be injected and one that you can't touch with bare skin. Thankfully all that CF training came in handy and with the help of Mummy's notes I managed to do a pretty good job of looking after him, he even skipped a little and wagged his tail. Stroking him was heartbreaking though as he is so painfully thin, you can feel every single bone, and he's quite unsteady so shakes terribly from the effort when he crouches to go to the loo. Mr Squish (the cat) however was most supportive and came on walks with us and snuggled against Bertie for cuddles, it was a shame I didn't quite manage to get a snap of it as it was really heartwarming.

The best thing about being 'home' however was that it gave me a rare opportunity to see a couple of my very best friends in all the world, namely Prince Adme of The Bog of Eternal Stench and Marquis Jarmies of Bogborough :o) We tried to work out when the three of us were all in a room together at the same time and came up with the horrid suspicion it had been at my wedding five years ago...shame on us.

Freakishly Adme was at the train station when I arrived and so gave me a lift home, then he came back later that afternoon and we went out for lunch/dinner with Jarmies at an all you can eat in MK which was fantastic as it offered a wide range of food. We had a few issues with a waitress who tried to take Jarmies' plate when he'd barely touched it, and then spent the rest of the evening trying to barge me to the floor as I went to and fro with my plate (we suspect we overheard us talking about her and enacted revenge upon poor little me as I looked like the easiest target!) All in all it was great and we didn't stop laughing except to shovel food haha!

That evening Adme came back to mine and we died his hair, it didn't quite come out the shade showed on the box, it was more reddish, however it looked really good and solved the problem of Adme's eyebrow's being too dark compared to his hair...quite a major problem I'm sure you'll agree. After that I did some cupping, moxa and acupuncture on him, it's been a while since I did such a full on treatment and I really enjoyed it.

I freaked out a little when I went to bed as I was in the house on my own and it hit me how out in the middle of nowhere I was as it was suddenly so dark and quiet.

Next morning I foolishly woke up at 6am panicked that it was time to do Bertie's meds and so ran downstairs, worried he had died in the night as he didn't stand up when I came out, but when I bent down to stroke him his little tail started wiggling...phew!

I worried I may not wake up again and so I gave him his meds a bit early then went back to bed, though typically I then couldn't get back to sleep, so instead I lazed about in bed reading FHM for a while. I then mooched downstairs and spent the day watching bad TV like Nanny 911 (which is criminally poorly editited so much that even I noticed the continuity errors!)

In the evening Adme came over again and we hung out, both of us were kind of tired and quiet but it was still really nice just to be in the same room and bitch about big-brother together :o) I dream-plotted to hire a large skip and throw out the entire contents of the house on the basis that there was nothing of high enough value to warrant the amount of stress and misery all the stuff causes my parents. There is just so much it's overwhelming and impossible to know where to start, I just wish I could afford to hire the woman I hired before to come back and give them more help as it seemed to have a good impact both practically and emotionally last time she visited them...though I have noticed that 'storing stuff in zip-lock bags' has become the new 'store stuff in boxes' ...bless them...one day it will be sorted and they are trying they just need to work as a team and be ruthless :o)

Monday I woke up a little later but still early. I did Bertie's bits and then spent the rest of the morning trying to do a bit of tidying for Mummy.

Late morning they all arrived home, they'd had a lovely time especially Daddy who'd been asked to DJ and had made such a good job of it that everyone asked him to do some more the next morning.

Daddy then gave me a lift to Bedford where I managed to get on a speedy train, they had hoped I'd stay and that they could take me out to dinner but I wanted to get home to Luke and Edward and due to my jammy train catching I was back in the smoke in about 30/40 minutes. I was very tired though and not feeling well so it was a really physical effort to get to the bus, and then from the bus-stop to the house. When I got in Luke had run me a bath which I got straight into, then I had a lay down on the bed with my oxygen till I felt a little better.

I then had to go to the dentist which I didn't fancy but thankfully it turned out to be a very quick consultation as she was just doing an assessment, I have to go back next week for the work :o(

When I got home Aaron was over, later Mr Vince arrived. I must admit I was a bit anti-social and laid in the bed on my O2 as I felt crap. After a while we started moving the lounge around, it took a lot of effort and experimenting but now it looks really good :o) Half way through Chitzi arrived which was fantastic as we haven't seen her for ages, she cuddled Edward, who, just like Luke and I formed an instant appreciation of her giant boobs!!

Just a few photos!

I know this has all got a bit behind as I've been away, I will do a catch up post but will backdate it so make sure you don't miss it.


For now I just wanted to put these pictures up of Edward and Aunty Thea as they are just so gorgeous. She is such a perfect aunty she loves her little nephew so much, in a funny way it makes me feel really proud, both of Thea for being so wonderful, and Edward for being so adorable!


The final photo is from our trip out on Saturday. We had planned to go to Liberty's as Thea had read about it on my blog, however Gay Pride was on and we couldn't cross Regents Street to get to the shop. It didn't matter in the end though as walked down watching the parade which was quite moving in places, especially hearing the cheers for all the military staff who were allowed to wear their uniforms for the first time. Initially I didn't think it was appropriate for them to wear them, but then I decided that it was actually important for them to make their statement, this country is full of all sorts of types of people, and those men and women are as much a part of our society and the forces that defend us as anyone else and it is right that they take pride in what they do especially when you consider they lay their lives on the line for people who hate what they are.

After initially not wanting to walk as far as Regent Street we ended up walking all the way to the South Bank where we had a yummy lunch in Wagamma before having ice-creams. Thea then headed home and we rushed back to ours to make sure we were back in time for the end of Dr Who. Hurray Cathrine Tate is gone, and David Tennant is still alive....all faith is restored!