Bertie-dogsitting and Grand Reunions

This weekend most of the Crossland's went to Berlin as our gorgeous friend Diana was having a big party in a castle. We couldn't really afford to go and so I offered to dog-sit as poor little Bertie is very unwell at the moment and not able to go to kennels.

He has a mix of complex conditions I don't really understand and is on a lot of complex medications including one that has to be injected and one that you can't touch with bare skin. Thankfully all that CF training came in handy and with the help of Mummy's notes I managed to do a pretty good job of looking after him, he even skipped a little and wagged his tail. Stroking him was heartbreaking though as he is so painfully thin, you can feel every single bone, and he's quite unsteady so shakes terribly from the effort when he crouches to go to the loo. Mr Squish (the cat) however was most supportive and came on walks with us and snuggled against Bertie for cuddles, it was a shame I didn't quite manage to get a snap of it as it was really heartwarming.

The best thing about being 'home' however was that it gave me a rare opportunity to see a couple of my very best friends in all the world, namely Prince Adme of The Bog of Eternal Stench and Marquis Jarmies of Bogborough :o) We tried to work out when the three of us were all in a room together at the same time and came up with the horrid suspicion it had been at my wedding five years ago...shame on us.

Freakishly Adme was at the train station when I arrived and so gave me a lift home, then he came back later that afternoon and we went out for lunch/dinner with Jarmies at an all you can eat in MK which was fantastic as it offered a wide range of food. We had a few issues with a waitress who tried to take Jarmies' plate when he'd barely touched it, and then spent the rest of the evening trying to barge me to the floor as I went to and fro with my plate (we suspect we overheard us talking about her and enacted revenge upon poor little me as I looked like the easiest target!) All in all it was great and we didn't stop laughing except to shovel food haha!

That evening Adme came back to mine and we died his hair, it didn't quite come out the shade showed on the box, it was more reddish, however it looked really good and solved the problem of Adme's eyebrow's being too dark compared to his hair...quite a major problem I'm sure you'll agree. After that I did some cupping, moxa and acupuncture on him, it's been a while since I did such a full on treatment and I really enjoyed it.

I freaked out a little when I went to bed as I was in the house on my own and it hit me how out in the middle of nowhere I was as it was suddenly so dark and quiet.

Next morning I foolishly woke up at 6am panicked that it was time to do Bertie's meds and so ran downstairs, worried he had died in the night as he didn't stand up when I came out, but when I bent down to stroke him his little tail started wiggling...phew!

I worried I may not wake up again and so I gave him his meds a bit early then went back to bed, though typically I then couldn't get back to sleep, so instead I lazed about in bed reading FHM for a while. I then mooched downstairs and spent the day watching bad TV like Nanny 911 (which is criminally poorly editited so much that even I noticed the continuity errors!)

In the evening Adme came over again and we hung out, both of us were kind of tired and quiet but it was still really nice just to be in the same room and bitch about big-brother together :o) I dream-plotted to hire a large skip and throw out the entire contents of the house on the basis that there was nothing of high enough value to warrant the amount of stress and misery all the stuff causes my parents. There is just so much it's overwhelming and impossible to know where to start, I just wish I could afford to hire the woman I hired before to come back and give them more help as it seemed to have a good impact both practically and emotionally last time she visited them...though I have noticed that 'storing stuff in zip-lock bags' has become the new 'store stuff in boxes' ...bless them...one day it will be sorted and they are trying they just need to work as a team and be ruthless :o)

Monday I woke up a little later but still early. I did Bertie's bits and then spent the rest of the morning trying to do a bit of tidying for Mummy.

Late morning they all arrived home, they'd had a lovely time especially Daddy who'd been asked to DJ and had made such a good job of it that everyone asked him to do some more the next morning.

Daddy then gave me a lift to Bedford where I managed to get on a speedy train, they had hoped I'd stay and that they could take me out to dinner but I wanted to get home to Luke and Edward and due to my jammy train catching I was back in the smoke in about 30/40 minutes. I was very tired though and not feeling well so it was a really physical effort to get to the bus, and then from the bus-stop to the house. When I got in Luke had run me a bath which I got straight into, then I had a lay down on the bed with my oxygen till I felt a little better.

I then had to go to the dentist which I didn't fancy but thankfully it turned out to be a very quick consultation as she was just doing an assessment, I have to go back next week for the work :o(

When I got home Aaron was over, later Mr Vince arrived. I must admit I was a bit anti-social and laid in the bed on my O2 as I felt crap. After a while we started moving the lounge around, it took a lot of effort and experimenting but now it looks really good :o) Half way through Chitzi arrived which was fantastic as we haven't seen her for ages, she cuddled Edward, who, just like Luke and I formed an instant appreciation of her giant boobs!!

The Big Move

Edward checking out the new futon on the day it arrived!


Friday 16th May
A busy day for me today sorting out the last few bits before the move, which up untill today I don't think I really believed was actually going to go ahead, it all seems to perfect I'm waiting for something to go wrong!

I got a taxi mid morning down to Caterham to get the train to London as I had to sign the contract and pay our deposit. The deposit was partly paid online, but the transfer limit meant I also had to get a bankers draft to cover the last portion. This was sort of exciting as I'd never had one done before, but the person trained to do them at the bank was busy so I had to wait over an hour! However I did not waste the time and instead went to the little cafe at Caterham station and had a baked-potato and cheese which was very tasty, it was silly but it made me kind of sad that I wouldn't come past here again often. Eventually bankers-draft in hand I made my way to London. I dropped it off at the estate agents and signed the contract it was a very exciting moment :o)

I then got the bus over to the Brompton as I was due at clinic, it all went ok with my lung function holding steady around the 35% mark, not as high as I'd like but stable at least. We decided to up my inhaled steroids to get my asthma under control so that I can do more effective physio hopefully if I can keep my lungs clear I can stay out of hospital for even longer which would be lovely, however if this doesn't work I'm going to try oral steroids which are stronger.

I then made my way home to pack. I was a little miffed to find that Luke hadn't packed so much as a toothbrush by the time I got back,his excuse being that he needed the boxed I brought home with me......mmmm...... however some efficient nagging later and both he and Andy were up in the loft bringing down the boxes, whilst I packed the rest of the stuff from round the house. I think we all made it to bed at about 1am.

Saturday 17th May
I had to head up to London early as I had to meet with the inventory clerk (who was documenting the condition of the flat in detail to ensure no deposit money is unfairly taken at the end of our rent-contract) she was also giving me the keys! I took Edward with me so he'd be out of the way whilst Luke and Andy humped boxes and furniture into the van.

The inventory clerk went round the flat with a dicta-phone talking at incredible speed noting down absolutely everything in minute detail whilst Edward snored his head off and I trailed after feeling rather useless despite my original goal to be really picky about every single hairline crack!

Then began the LONG wait for Andy and Luke. I floated about the flat for a while, changed and fed Edward, then with nothing better to do went to sleep on the lounge floor. I phoned Luke and Andy a few times, as well as various people I was buying furniture from but then my phone ran out of battery, soon followed by my i-pod. leaving me with nothing to do, no way to tell the time and no way to contact the boys, so I couldn't even nip out for hot-chocolate as I had NO idea what time they would arrive! It was a quite bizzare and surreal period of time as I was drifting in and out of sleep and lost all perspective over what time it may even vaguely have been, whilst sat in a totally empty flat watching the drizzle with only little Edward for company!!

Finally at around 6.30-7ish they got there, and we unloaded the van. Well I say 'we', Andy and Luke did all the work really, I continued to be quite useless and only managed to carry in a few things before I got too tired and breathless to do much other than watch Edward, who was yet again snoozing.

We called Vince and Karolina who came round to help unload. It was lovely to see them again as it had been ages. Finally it was all done, we debated going for food but everyone was a bit tired, so we just bought some HagenDaz and Jaffa Cakes and sat on the lounge floor together eating them, it was good fun. Poor Andy Pandy then headed home for bed!!

Luke and I rolled out all the duvets and blankets we had, aswell as my pilates mat as a makeshift bed, Edward was lucky enough to have his cot in his own room for the first time, and that was how we spent our first night in our new home together :o)

Sunday 18th May
As if they hadn't done enough yesterday, today was to be another long day of humping heavy things around for poor Luke and Andy. As we don't have much money at the moment it was tricky to afford new furniture, originally I was going to go to IKEA but they didn't have the bed we wanted, and all their sofas cost too much, so I reverted to Ebay :o) The only downside being of course that we had to go and collect them all. So out went Luke and Andy to find all the random sellers and pick up up bed, matress, sofa and futon. Really I shouldn't have got the sofa and the futon, but I wasn't sure I'd like the futon and the sofa was such a bargain I couldn't resist. Actually in the end I think we will keep both as the sofa is awesome and the futon is just so handy for guests.

I unpacked while I waited for them. I got quite a bit done, but it was very frustrating as I was so breathless I had to keep resting for ages between each load or pile of stuff I carried from one room to another. However I got Edward's room pretty much sorted and all his stuff into his drawers which I was really pleased with. It was also nice to feel useful after not being able to do much the day before.

By the end of it all Luke and Andy were shattered, and both of them were in agony, both in all tiier muscles but especially their hands which were raw from all the carrying of poking sharp edged boxes and furniture. I was also feeling pretty rough, a bad combination of not having time to do all my treatment mixed with all the dust of moving made me feel really quite ill and awful, however we realized I'd left some of my drugs in the fridge at the last house, so I had to drive back with Andy to get them. It wasn't a bad run back, and we stopped and got some very tasty sandwiches, however by the time we got there I was wheezing terribly and just wanted to curl up and sleep, however knew it was best to go home so I could do all my treatment. I gave Shellie big goodbye cuddles, as I hadn't had the chance the day I left, and then Andy took me down to the train station. Luckily there was one going soon, and it was already on the platform so I didn't even have to wait in the cold :o)

When the train got to London in went into a wierd stop near the London Eye, too tired to contemplate faffing about in the underground I just got a taxi home which was actually pretty exciting as we went past Buckingham Palace.

I had expected to find Luke unconscious on the mattress on the floor, but no bless him he'd assembled and made the bed all ready for us to go to sleep...phew!!

The Week Of Sunshine

As you can see it's been a fantastic but busy week, full of glorious sunshine. It's been lovely to be able to get out in the garden even though I must admit I haven't actually made it out there as much as I should have.

Mostly I just wanted to make a statement about how happy I am at the moment. So many of my diary /blog entries are depressing and miserable, full of moans about CF and not being able to breathe and being stuck in hospitals.

Right now is just wonderful, not perfect, but in a good real-life sort of way that doesn't matter. Yes my health could be better, and yes Luke and Edward can be monkeys, but with the sun shining and both my boys cuddled round me that seems kind of irrelevant. I wake up each morning to Edward's smiles, and fall asleep each night in Luke's arms covered in kisses. Though sorting the flat has been stressful, and not over yet, it is still fantastically exciting to think that soon we will be back in London where we will have a house to ourselves. The convenience of the city is also going to be liberating, I have missed it every day since I left and can't wait for everything to be either on my doorstep or just a bus ride away.

Here's to a long summer with my family stretched out in Hyde Park under blue blue sky :o)

Flat Hunting

Well after months of sitting about doing almost nothing due to either illness or sheer laziness this week finally saw us all be busy little bees :o)

The week kicked off on Tuesday when we went to London to view flats, I'd tried to arrange a bunch of appointments on the Friday, which had been both exciting but frustrating. A lot of the agents turned me away outright because I mentioned the dreaded 'DSS' word, however once I stopped mentioning that things all got a lot better, however a large number left me with maybes or 'so and so will call on Tuesday'.

It was the first time we'd even had to be out the house by a certain time which proved interesting and threw us both into a bit of a spin as I danced about with my nebuliser and Luke stood holding Edward's bag asking me what he should put in it. Despite the chaos however we made it to our first appointment on time. It was lovely quiet little street not far from the Edgware Rd. and the flat itself was lovely, however it was on the 1st floor. We didn't rule it out but knew if we saw something on the first floor, even if it wasn't as nice it would win outright just through sheer practicality.

We then had a bit of a gap between appointments and so decided to head over to Baker St. and get some food for us, feed Edward and find somewhere to change him. While we were there I also started opening Edward's savings account but annoyingly the woman was too busy to see us, so I did it over the phone, then the bloke buggered off and I couldn't find anyone to photocopy my passport, which was annoying as it means I'm going to have to go in another time.

I changed Edward in MacDonalds despite Luke and I's significant reservations he may catch chav germs. He screamed the entire time we were in there, clearly he has taste, and then promptly fell asleep the minute I put him back in his buggy so he didn't get fed in the end! (well not till a bit later clearly I didn't starve the poor child)

The second flat was split level over two floors, the bedrooms were downstairs and a bit dingy a fact not helped by the fact all the shutters were closed. The lounge and kitchen upstairs however were pretty nice, as they had really high ceilings and shutters. It wasn't as nice decor wise as the first place, however it won out on space and the fact it was kind of first floor.

After that Luke and I decided to go and get us some lunch at Zizzis as we hadn't eaten there for ages. They have changed the place it's all green and black now, which though trendy doesn't entirely go with the Italian food. While we were waiting for our meal to arrive I woke Edward and fed him, though kind of bashed his poor little head on the edge of his car-seat ooops!!

I realized we were going to be a little late for our next appointment, and phoned the agent who luckily was able to hang around and wait for us. We got a taxi over as we were late, and also because I was starting to get pretty tired having walked most of the way up and down between Baker St. and the Edgware Rd. more than once.

The taxi dropped us outside one of the entrances to a huge apartment block, we hung about looking a little lost debating which way to go to find the agent who was going to meet us outside Natwest. A big black chap, who turned out to be a porter at the block, came up and asked if he could help, we told him we were waiting to meet an agent, and he asked which one, clearly knowing most of the ones that regularly show people the block. He wasn't familiar with our one, but took us round the corner to Natwest and wished us all the best. It was a really nice warm greeting to the place and set Luke and I's hopes high.

Our agent finally appeared and took us round to a different, and much grander entrance that had kind of gardens. We went into a side entrance off that main courtyard into a marble lobby. The lift was only big enough to take Edward and I, so Luke and the agent went up the stairs. The hallway was carpeted and very clean and quiet, he took us to the end to the apartment he was going to be showing us.

Luke and I were both pretty excited as the whole place seemed really nice, and when he opened the door we were both thrilled as we looked into the wood floored hallway lit by nice spotlights. We walked straight past the brand new sparkly kitchen and through the double doors into the massive bright lounge that looks out over the gardened courtyard. The agents phone went off and while he answered that Luke and I showed ourselves round, which actually suited me fine as I find hovering agents kind of irritating. Both the bedrooms were big doubles, rather than a double and a single with a double bed squeezed in which is what you usually find in London. The bathroom is super swanky with a huge deep bath, and one of those showers that has those big wide heads. Oooo it was so exciting!!

As we were stood outside the flat leaving, and the agent was locking up Luke laughed at me and said I had that glint in my eye and he was pretty sure this would be the one. However we agreed it was best to see the last one, as so far each flat we'd seen had been better than the one before.

So back we went over almost to Baker St. again and met the agent outside the flat. He took us into the building which like all the buildings down that street had the feel of being the kind of place where diplomats and very rich business men stay. He took us down into the basement and showed us the flat. I don't know why but I just didn't like it at all, it felt oddly like a hotel, and was tiny and not all that clean, it did have a nice little courtyard though which was very tempting. Overall though we decided it was a 'No' and that we should call the agent about the flat in apartment block.

We walked down to a park we'd seen hoping we could sit in there, but sadly it was a private one and you had to have a key :o( So sat in a very glamorous fashion on a salt bin I called the agent and we made our offer. He said it sounded fine, but that he'd have to speak to the landlord and he'd call us back and that if it was fine we could meet up and do the paperwork.

By this point I was REALLY thirsty so Luke and I headed back to the Edgware Rd. to get a drink and await 'the call'. Luke wossed out of going in any of the Asian cafes and so in the end we sat in Baskin and Robins which was bizzarely warm for an ice-cream shop.

Finally after what seemed like hours of nervously spinning my phone around on the table each of us pointing out to each other what a marvelous place to live the apartment would be the agent finally called back, and after clearly reveling in his dramatic moment told me our offer had been accepted. We arranged to go to his office to pay our deposit and sign the paperwork, and hopped in a taxi.

We weren't sure we were in the right place at first as the address on the business card was this huge swanky glass building with one of those freakishly quiet lobby's with imposing security guards. However we were assured we were in the right place, and had photos taken of us to go on our security badges. It seemed a bit overkill till we noticed that this building also happened to be AOL's HQ.

After a rather embarrassing incident involving a stupidly narrow doorway and Edward's buggy we made it into the agents office's and signed the paperwork and paid our monies. He explained that we were now going to be dealt with by another agent who would do all the contracts and things as he was just an introducing party and that the property wasn't actually marketed by him. In hindsight it was a bit dodgy and I think we were a bit ripped off by him as he charged us £175 just to show us one flat, but you live and learn! And actually the agency we are now with are far more reputable and I'm a lot more comfortable giving them disgustingly large amounts of money. (Even though technically it's my sisters money and the HB that's not the point!)

Exhausted and in no mood to negotiate buses or tubes we got a taxi back to Victoria and came home to bed!

All fingers, toes and eyes crossed the apartment is ours whoooo!!!!!

Been a while...

Like so many blogs upon the web this one has been horribly neglected for far too long, almost a year in-fact.

There are many reasons for this, partly I lost my log in details and couldn't be arsed to spend the whole 3 minutes it takes to find them. The last posts on here were just before exam season where I was rather busy handing in course-work and cramming so I just didn't find or make the time.

Not long after that I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to write about it in public, I didn't want anyone to know because I was so scared I would loose the baby and I didn't want to have to keep going over it to everyone, and it felt like a lie to write and not talk about the most major thing going on in my life. In fact for most of the last year it has been all that happened in my life, as it took so much from me all I could do was sleep and grow my gorgeous little boy. I'm sure at some point I will write about the pregnancy in detail but there are many aspects of it I find hard to think about and I'm not in the mood and this is not that kind of post.

Edward Lawrence Crossland Dallyn was born on the 21st December 2007 and everything since has been rather beautiful for the most part. He is the most perfect little baby you could possibly wish for. He is so well behaved all the time, and recently has started smiling and giggling. It is such a joyous thing to fall asleep wrapped up in Luke's arms knowing that I will wake up to see little Edward smiling at me from his cot in the morning.

I'm enjoying being a mother very much, it's a role to which I'm naturally suited I think. I enjoy looking after people and fussing, which is perfect as that's just what babies need. I also love all the toys I now have an excuse to play with, especially the ones with that crunch-crinkly stuff in, it just feels so cool and makes the most awesome noise!!

My university course has gone on hold, however I intend to go back this September, I hope to go full time, but even part time would be lovely as I miss it terribly and I miss using my brain. I actually did some acupuncture the other day for the first time in ages on Luke's mummy, it didn't solve the problem, but it made an aspect of it a little better which I'm quite proud of.

At the moment we are looking into moving back to London. I have missed the city every day since I left last summer to go and stay at Luke's. We didn't move back there in September as we thought living with my sister in Caterham would work well, sadly is hasn't as we are too isolated and the whole house is full of mould and smells of cupboard!!

My health has been ok, but not brilliant, I started to pick up well after the pregnancy, but then have had a series of tummy bugs, colds and an infected port-a-cath which have kept me in hospital and away from my new family far too much. However I'm feeling very positive now and hope I can get a few really good clear months at home to enjoy the company of my gorgeous boys :o)