So this would be the start...

I don't really know how this blog is going to turn out, I had another one a while ago that began as a tour-diary plotting my adventures as I skipped about the globe following my beloved bands, but then it descended into the odd update usually posted when I felt particularly strongly about some event or another.

I like having diaries, I try and keep one, though I start off well I then don't find the time to write them. Though I have decided that having an online one where I can type it in, and it will keep it for me in a nice ordered fashion may help matters. I have a tendency to not write anything for a while, and then write pages of stuff, which my little paper diary isn't really suitable for, so hopefully this will provide a better space for that. It will also be more legible!!

To some extent this is an homage to my friends Oli and Emily who both have blogs which I have found to be terrifying, amusing and a source of more strength than I can even begin to quantify. They both plot their end-stage Cystic Fibrosis journeys towards heart-lung transplants, and in Emily's case the life that follows one. The amount of times I have sat reading them and read my own frustrations before me, or been forced to admit a truth I was otherwise avoiding doesn't bare counting. I have come to the conclusion that it would be helpful to me to go through that process myself rather than extrapolating from theirs.

This element of self support is a continuing theme. I often find it helpful to read stuff written some time ago at a point when I was feeling strong and together, it reminds me what I am capable of, and stops me sinking into hopeless self pity, or just acts as a venting platform so I can drop the issue and move on.

In-fact the title of this blog comes from something I wrote once, I have referred to it so often now that I forget where I originally wrote it, but I think it first appeared in a letter I wrote to my dear friend h explaining everything that had been going on in my world, most notably its recent collapse, but I had come through it, and all the healing from it, with the strong determined attitude that I continue to uphold, this being...

...I was not made for one person, nor one life and I am capable of anything.