Clinical Justification

Well after clinic today I'm feeling oddly happier and more justified in how poo I've been feeling, I always worry that I'm being a hypochondriac and that I'm not as bad as I think I am, but actually it turns out I'm kinda of worse than I'd suspected.

Lung function was a rather vile 0.95 otherwise known as 23% eek....and my FVC was 1.45 or 30%, last time they were 31% and 48% and I wasn't that great then either. My oxygen levels were 89% - 90% which is bad as they put you on oxygen at about 92% - 90% depending on how understanding the doctor at the time is... this is the main reason for wanting to admit me, coupled with the very poor air entry into my poor little naughty lungs.

My weight is also down which I'm utterly mystified by, and actually quite annoyed about as I've been making an effort to eat more and do my feed, ever since that post I made a while back about being under-weight, it is also a worry as it indicates there could be a problem with my blood sugars (ie. diabetes) and so I may have to start doing insulin again. It's not that bad I had it when pregnant but it smells and I don't overly enjoy stabbing myself, I also worry about giving myself the wrong dose and putting myself in a coma, unlikely I know but it's scary stuff when you aren't used to it.

Iike I said at the start it sounds odd but in a way I am glad that I am actually ill and not just going mad, it's so easy to loose track of how well/unwell you are when you are going over and over the things you can't do, and the trips you didn't make in your head and trying to wiegh up if you were just being lazy and unfit or if you are genuinely too unwell.

I'm not sure what they are going to do this admission, I really hope it goes better than the last few I've had. I really hope they get to the bottom of this asthma business swiftly and do somethng about it and don't just faff which is a real risk when tackling things that are slightly uncertain. I also want to make sure that I'm put on a long term sustainable treatment for it, because whack-loads of steroids is not a good option in my book, and if that means we have to go through every asthma drug on the market then so be it.

So all in all it was a rather dire clinic appointment and not too suprisingly they have decided to admit me, so I've come home to pack, play one last game of reversi with Prince Adme Bogmulia Belkarty Lord Of The Reversi Bog and then I'm off for the forseeable future....let's hope Luke and Edward survive my absence :o(

See you when I'm home piglets xox

The Great British Duck Race

The plan was to go to the duck race with some mummy chummy's however at about 9am this morning they texted me asking if we should cancel due to the peeing rain. I called back and after a bit of debating and motherly worrying about babies in the rain we decided to call it off.

I then flumped about the flat grumpng and plotting as I've had this pencilled into my diary for months, so in the end I decided that rubbish lungs and the great British summer were no match for me and that Edward and I would go and see how far we got!

As we walked out the flat and I realised just how much it was actually raining, and how out of breath I was already I quailed, however determined I told myself it wasn't far to the bus stop, I had a nice full tank of oxygen and the rain would pass soon. Without too much incident and with lots of help from a variety of kind people Edward and I made it to Hampton Court and down to the river bank.

Edward didn't have a rain cover and stupidly I didn't take a hat either, however I think we coped quite well with a hood fashioned out of a hanky and his changing bag pouch. I used his actual changing mat as a seat, you can tell I'm a real mother now, utterly resourceful :o)

Given all my 'umming and ahhing' I really thought we would have missed the 'grand' launch, however luckly we made it in time and actually had a lovely ten minutes sat in the rain waiting for the ducks to be 'unleashed'.....I say 'unleashed' but I really feel that may be a rather melodramatic way of putting things.




There were some audio-speakers near by and some local radio DJ's were commentating and letting people know what was happening. They were rather rubbish, however did their best to try and gee up the soggy crowd of spectators.

Eventually the finally coutdown began and out came the ducks! For a while they didn't seem to move very fast at all, and then they seemed to pick up speed as they got to the bridge. I suspect it may have just been due to perspective as once they were closer it was easier to see that they were actually moving.




It was quite exciting when they got close enough to see properly. Edward and I had a good peer over the edge to see if we could spot our ducks but funnily enough we didn't. Despite that we cheered ours along anyway aswell as my freind Dan's as he'd asked me to. There were definately ducks out in the lead, then the bulk of them following behind herded along by a team of canoeists.

As the ducks went by the weather picked up a little and there was even a little sunshine which was lovely. I wanted to see the end of the race but it wasn't very easy to follow the riverbank and I wasn't confident about being able to get back given how much it had taken just to get to the waterside. I decided it was better to leave early while I still had energy and was still enjoying myself than to push it and end up exhausted and miserable.



We got back to central London safely, again helped by lots of kind people and now I'm chilled out on the sofa looking forward to cuddles and Trigun later with the gorgeous sexy Luke.

It's good to be me :o)

Pari-Neb Poster boy!

Not done too much today as we are off to the duck-race tomorrow. I mostly just laid about and slept a lot, I did a bit of knitting and took a lot of Movicol and Gastrograffin as my stomach is blocked, hopefully it will clear before tomorrow though as I doubt there are many loos along the race-course.

In the evening I played a few more games of reversi with Adme, we are both so badly addicted to it at the moment, only sadly he has now cottoned on how to play and so he keeps beating me.

Luke and Edward have both been too gorgeous for words....Edward especially seems to think he is going to be the next Pari-neb poster boy haha!

Yummy Scrummy Dinner Party!

Starter - Chicken stuffed with basil and hazlenuts served with fresh pesto and mixed olives

Main - Treacle duck with date and parsnip purée, lemon curd carrots and the crispiest roast potatoes known to man!

Pudding - Pear and Belgian Chocolate Cake with squirty cream!

Do not fear dear readers you haven't accidentally ended up on Edward's weaning blog, that is just the menu for my fantabulous dinner party :o)

After alot of planning and contemplating a myrid of things many of which involved grapefruit I finally settled on the above. We made a special trip over to Waitrose near the library as I wanted to get decent ingrediants rather than manky Somefield stuff. The store was really nice, so much tidier and better presented that Scummers, but they didn't have any duck breasts which was most annoying.

We came back to Edgware, Luke started to take stuff off the buggy to take home, but I suggested he may aswell just take Edward back to the flat with the shopping, and I'd try popping up to the delicatesen, which was stupid of me I should have taken Edward home and let Luke go duck hunting. He made me promise not to go to the butchers at Marylebone though as it is too far and he was worried about me. I went to the delcatessen who also didn't have any duck breasts, it was a toss up as to whether it was less far to walk to Somefield or to the bus stop to get the bus to Selfridges. In the end I plummed for Selfridges and hopped on the bus. I had a nice mooch round the foodhall and very nearly bought a stupendous cake, but resisted and instead sampled and bought lots of olives and some fresh pesto aswell as the duck.

I came home and cooked it all up, Luke was annoyed with me as he was worried I was overdoing it :o( I was sorry that I'd worried him I hadn't meant to. Edward crawled all the way from the far side of the lounge to the kitchen to see what I was up to, which was very sweet, though he kept trying to fiddle with the bin so he had to go back.

Everything went quite well, though just as Raj arrived I was having a rather self-indulgent panic hehe! We sat about and chatted a bit and Luke showed Raj the clip of Spore while the starter finished cooking, then we all sat down to eat, it was most tasty and I was so pleased because the chicken did the spiral thing it was supposed to!

There was then a bit of a lull as I decided it was better to eat at a sedate pace and eat well, than try and be snazzy and serve stuff up one after the other and end up wrecking it all! Not too long later though we had the main course and it was most tasty. I think the quantities were way out on the parsnip and date puree though as I ended up with a huge bowl of it, when to be honest, you can't really eat more than a generous spoonful, no matter though it all got frozen for Edward.

We then had a longer rest between mains and pudding as we were all feeling a bit stuffed. We chatted and Luke sorted out 'Company of Heros' on Raj's computer, the long term plan is to have lots of people round LAN all the computers and the boys will all play together and I shall make nachos and other tasty foods...the perfect evening!

The pudding, brought by Raj, was SO nice, we all looked at it concerned it was going to be too dense and sweet and that we may die, however it actually turned out to be really light moist cake, which balanced well with the sticky chocolate, cream and pears inside.

Towards the end of the evening I had to have a bit of a puff on my bird as I was feeling really breathless, but overall I wasn't as bad as I had been the night before which was a relief. Raj evenutally headed off home it is always SUCH a pleasure to see him, and next time he said he may well bring his new girlie!! Most exciting :o)

The Return Of High Priestess Tor

Many moons ago a story began that went a little like this....

Chapter 1

The Beginning

In a small village called Am-thill on the edge of a dark forest was an institute of knowledge known as the Red-Bornè. Three children all born to come into power studied the moving of the universe there and forged a friendship that would see them through many long hours of darkness.

Lord Jarmies Marquis of the region of Brogborough was a wild character even in the early days. Insane of mind he always proved loyal to the cause and had a particular affiliation with ‘sticky’ spots, and so proved handy for getting out of them.

Prince Adme Lord of the Bog of Eternal Stench, born to rule his vast swamp empire when he came of age, settled well into the position of leader of the group. Fiercely loyal and devoted, a true caring soul he would the form the core of the trio around which their formidable power and light would gather.

Finally Tor, they all knew she was special. The Dean of Red-Bornè, Professor Brook, had her marked as someone who would change the world.

Chapter 2

The Coming of The Priestess

An insignificant journey it had seemed at first, a simple pilgrimage to the musical temple of Marillion. But as Tor had stood in the falling Autumn snow looking up at the high windows of the shrine a vision had come to her. Colourful strands of wool woven together in a scarf of power. Upon her return to Red-Bornè Tor began to knit.

Many months she spent closeted in corners of the institute furiously weaving together the rainbow coloured strands of yarn until finally it was done.

A scarf nigh on 20 feet in length and imbued with the power of light. Every colour of the rainbow glistened from the bright threads as she ran the completed work through her hands. ‘Adme it is done’ Tor cried out!

‘Hurrah’ Adme cried! Then Jarmies came running up to see what was going on ‘Oh wow that scarf should not exist!’ he shouted with glee grabbing the scarf and running round the room with it.

....Sadly the rest of the adventures were lost in the mists of time, broken phones and deleted text messages, which is a terrible shame as they were quite hilarious and told wild tales of sailing over vast oceans in washing baskets eating jelly-babies and drinking pink champagne. Also distant now is the tale of how, for one grand, perfect and beautiful day High Priestess Tor became a Goddess, but from that she fell, she fell a long way, until she lay broken holding nothing more than a ring that was just a band of gold and a twenty foot scarf muddy at it's ends.

Thus High Priestess Tor's days of knitting drew to a close, and the scarf full of faded magic and mud was folded away and put at the back of the wardrobe on the threshold of Narnia where it belongs, only dug out on the rare occasions that she is reunited with her Marquis and Prince.

That is until today.

The wool has gotten more tasteful, and the general aims a lot less fantastical, but nevertheless begun again has the knitting and returned has the priestess.

Mwhahahaha!!!

The fat grey mouse is dead!!

The fat grey mouse is dead!!!

Hurrrah!!

Hurrah!!

Mwhahahahaha!!!

..............you're next little black kitchen mouse!!

I was so tempted to take a photo, but I thought that would just be too disgusting, he was sat in such a funny dead pose at the back of the trap, like a fat portly man from a Dicken's novel with his nasty clawed little feet resting on his fat peanut butter filled belly, oh he looked so smug, smug and dead....victory is mine mwhahaha!!!

Poppy Puppy Sitting

Some band are playing somewhere in the world and so once again it befell me to go and dog sit for the rents. Sadly not long after I went up last time little Bertie had to be put to sleep as he was just not getting any better, however he has since been replaced by Poppy the puppy soon to be joined by Carmen from Battersea.

The run up wasn't too bad, apart from the bit where my i-pod played 'Season's End' the first Marillion song I ever sang to Edward when he was just a few days old causing me to burst into tears! Alex, my brother, and his chum Tom picked me up from the station and we went and collected the sewing machine I won on ebay for a stunning £5! As I suspected, given its age, it is hideously heavy and I began to plot how on earth to get it home.

We then went to the supermarket and got some nice easy microwave food and a few other snacks including some rather scrummy jammy dodger bars which my friend Jo raves about all the time.

When we got in Poppy was terribly over excited and got caught between saying enthusiastic bitey jumpy hellos and piddling so opted for both at the same time....nice! After we'd sorted her out we made nachos and cheese and pizza and all headed out into the garden where we proceeded to stuff our faces and play with the pooch.

Late afternoon as it started to cloud over we headed inside, and I went for a nap. Not long after Alex got a call from his work (who technically he'd just worked his last shift for) and so he went off to that leaving Poppy in with me. She thought it was a fantastic opportunity to eat the contents of the guitar room, rather boringly on my part, I didn't agree and so took her back downstairs to the lounge where I proceeded to vegetate.

Alex eventually got home and we watched lots of youtube stuff together including a truly hilarious re-working of the Nickleback track 'Rockstar' it is too all intent and purposes the sequel titled 'Popstar'



I then headed to bed as my nap had been rather short-lived and puppy filled!

Saturday we both woke up around 7.30, I sorted the puppy while Alex got ready to go to Reading Festival with his girlie, it was nice though as we got the chance to eat breakfast together before he headed off.

The rest of the day was rather boring on the whole, I was really tired and the house was so messy and dirty it made my asthma really bad so I didn't feel well enough to move far without ending up gasping. So I read FHM and watched lots of really bad TV most of which I'm too ashamed to even name, however come the afternoon the x-factor marathon began and so I watched that and bitched about all the crazy loons with my sister on msn as she watched it, though she kept going off to the loo and to get food and stuff and so kept getting out of sync!

I also chatted with my chum Nick who I haven't spoken to for ages which was really awesome as though we often say 'hi' on msn we hardly ever have a proper conversation as we've both got a bit lazy, and I'm always distracted, I also have less to say these days as my life is happy and I'm content, sad that, you'd think I'd have more to say than when I was miserable.

Eventually I headed up to bed and took Poppy with me as she's not used to sleeping on her own yet. She had a really mad few minutes when she first got upstairs literally bouncing off the walls, but once the light was off she soon settled down. Overall though I didn't sleep well that night as I was so paranoid about her peeing on the new carpet also she kept waking and moving about and trying to cuddle my head.

At around 5am she finally woke up properly and started pawing me and the door so I took her out for a wee, and gave her some food and water. I then left her in the kitchen hoping it wouldn't be too weird for her as I figured it would just be like being left there when everyone goes off to work, as I REALLY needed more sleep as I was feeling so ill and it was so early. At about nine I woke to her whining so went down and let her out. She had attacked a plant and spread that all over the floor and more worryingly turned the oven on.... I was just SO glad it wasn't the hob as my parents have a huge gas range cooker, which like every other surface in their house also serves as a dumping ground for crap, if she'd hit the hob rather than the oven god knows what would have happened!

I cleaned up the murdered plant and we went back in the lounge and again vegetated till Alex got home with Emma and he then took me to the station, he helped me onto the train with the sewing machine so I didn't have to carry it far.

I chatted with a nice lady on the train who even offered me a lift home, however I didn't want to hold her up as I knew I was going to be slow and that I'd need a trolley for the machine. So when we arrived we said our goodbyes and headed our separate ways. When I got in I went straight on my bird and then had a sleep with some Oxygen for a few hours till I got woken to the delightful sound of Edward screaming his head off!!

It turned out he'd decided to remove his nappy and smear himself in poo while Luke wasn't looking, and then had the cheek to take objection to being hosed down.

While I was gone the boys had an ok time, apparently Edward wasn't too whingey which he often is when I'm gone Luke also used the re-usable nappies, I hoped this was a sign he was finally converting, but sadly no, he just could not be arsed to go to the shop for Pampers. Edward is pretty much mobile now as he's worked out how to pull himself along on his belly aided a little by his legs, and he kept crawling round and trying to poke his fingers into Luke's computer....oh dear we knew this day would come.